My first blog post is up at World Moms Blog today, so if you get a chance pop by there and have a look. The irony hasn't escaped me that the post is about being a mother and the challenges you face, especially after my post here yesterday and the dramas with my son. I wrote the 'challenges' post several weeks ago and wasn't sure where it was on the blogging schedule, so to find out it was going to be up today seemed almost like devine intervention.
Home is not a very happy place at the moment. Hubby is disappointed and angry. MM son is just plain angry. Youngest MM is keeping a low profile and staying out of the way. Me, I'm just incredibly sad, disappointed and unsure of how to fix everything. Trying to get older MM to talk and explain what he's feeling is hard; because he's angry at himself, at us and at the world and just wants to be left alone.
Last night there was a story on 60 Minutes about teenage mothers who have achieved something with their lives and avoided the welfare merry-go-round to set an example for their children. Amazing how everything around me at the moment seems to remind me of my life.
I watched them talk to mum's who went on to study at university and make something of themselves. I experienced strong feelings of deja vu watching this program because I completed my senior year of highschool at the age of 26 when my youngest son was 6 months old, I then went onto university and completed my degree part time over six years whilst also working part time and being the mother to three young children.
I know how damn hard it is, because I too was a teenage mum - my oldest son was born two weeks after my 17th birthday. I remember the disappointment I caused my parents as if it was yesterday. Unfortunately there were no teenage mum programs around like the one they were talking about last night, it took me a lot longer and I had to do it on my own. Going to university and continually striving to better myself has been as much for me as it has been to set a good example for my children.
I guess that's why things like what has happened with my son over the weekend have really hit me hard. His father and I have done our best to provide our boys with a secure and safe upbringing so that they grow up to be worthwhile people.
I truly understand that's what being a parent is all about, wanting the best for your children (mine did, I had sensational parents who encouraged me to be the best I could and I didn't appreciate it as much as I should have at the time) So my one realisation from all of this, teenage stupidity must be a family trait!
Gees being a parent is hard work!
It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself. ~ Joyce Maynard