Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Good stress, bad stress

I came home tonight to roast lemon and herb chicken drumsticks and roast vegies cooking away because hubby is on dinner duty tonight. I love having a houseful of males who can cook and actually do cook. Deciding what to do for dinner on a daily basis is so tiring, it's not so much the deciding as walking in the door at 6pm and having to do it.

I know when my stress levels are easing off because my appetite returns. I always have great food on offer but when I'm stressed I eat very little. Today I was absolutely starving, I had my lunch twenty minutes early and then had a full packet of potato chips from the vending machine as well because I was still so hungry. Dinner is cooking at the moment and I am resisting the urge to eat something before. It's strange because I know when I'm stressed I don't eat and I don't sleep, yet others go the opposite way and eat and sleep more. What a funny thing the body is.

Hubby bought me a treadmill for my birthday, which was after I continually told him that's what I wanted (okay I nagged). I used it religiously every day for three weeks. Then I landed flat on my back on rocks outside my mum and dad's house when they were moving and I was carrying a television. Lets just say that I could barely walk for a week and then it took another month to get back to walking without pain. So, I've been a little lax, okay very lax for the last 5 months in getting back on it. Not sure where my motivation went on that one, but I need to get back on it.

The last few days I've started to gain a real understanding (and respect) for just what is involved in a project of the size on which I am working. There's a lot of stress involved in what we're doing due to the numerous competing interests and groups as well as the pre-determined timelines to have certain activities completed.

The thing is there's a difference between good and bad stress. Stress is a feeling that's created when we react to particular events. It's the body's way of rising to a challenge and preparing to meet a tough situation with focus, strength, stamina, and heightened alertness. When your body becomes stressed, your sympathetic nervous system invokes the fight-or-flight stress response, which gets your body into a heightened state of readiness, preparing you to react.

Stress can be a good thing when faced with challenges because it provides a burst of energy, boosts the immune system and helps you to accomplish more. When it happens often and is on-going over a period of time then it can be harmful to your health and well being. This is especially the case when it starts to affect sleep patterns, appetite and other areas of your life (these 2 paragraphs are from here and are slightly modified by me)

Life is full of stressful moments and I accept that sometimes it's unavoidable. What I need to learn to do is become more attuned to my body and not let it get to the levels that I let it. Eating properly, exercising, sleeping and doing relaxing things all assist in maintaining good stress levels.

When all else fails - perhaps its as simple as 'mindfully disconnecting' from toxic situations and people in my life (Thanks for this moment of wisdom Karyn) Okay, so as Karyn also points out minimising the effect that toxic people and / or situations have on your life is not quite that easy, but surely being aware and taking steps to minimise is the first step towards being a happier me.

So I'm off to eat my delectable dinner, take a spin on the treadmill and then have a nice sound sleep (which it will be, because hubby is on nightshift and I get to spread out across the whole bed and have no snoring to contend with)

Have a lovely stress-free night people.

Cheers, Fi

Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it

Monday, May 30, 2011

Teaching puppies (children) to behave.

I love days when it all comes together, these kinds of days haven't happened for such a long time and I've missed them. Dinner cooked by middle MM and dishwasher stacked by youngest MM. Food on the table and eaten before 7pm. Hubby back in bed for a nap before he starts night shift tonight and me curled up on the lounge reading and writing. Eldest MM also started his new job today and things finally seem to be coming together for him. Love it when the good fairies visit my house and take over my children's minds. It sure makes my life a hell of a lot easier.
I read a post by Carol a new mum writer for World Moms Blogs tonight where she talks about parenting and combining the principles for dog training - she says 'When I’m not sure about what to do in a particular parenting situation, I tend to resort to “what would I do if this were a dog.” Which means that I treat my baby like a puppy at points. That seems to amuse people. So far, it’s working'

Compare a dog to a boy. They scratch, they fart and they eat anything in sight. They are affectionate, loyal and loving and give you lots of love. They walk around with their tail between their legs when they've been bad and they like peeing on things. Same, same but different.

The priniciples that Carol talks about seemed to make sense to me, same principles, just a different species. There is the problem that I'm faced with which is that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, being that my children are now teenagers, but surely I can work on that. But look at the principles for training a puppy below which is from this website and if you replace the word 'puppy or dog' with 'baby, child or children' and then you tell me where the difference is?

How To Train A Puppy (Child) - The Positive Non Violent Way
It's important with all dog (child) training but especially with young puppies (children) to use lots of encouragement, praise and rewards (positive reinforcement) in your training. Start your puppy (baby) training sessions as soon as your little puppy (baby) arrives at your home - it's never too early. Set your puppy (child) up to succeed, concentrate on developing desirable habits in your puppy (child) and preventing undesirable behavior. It's much a better alternative to put your puppy (child) on the right path from the start, rather than trying to correct established problem behaviors later on.

Keep your training sessions short, consistent and always have fun. The key to shaping your puppy's (child's) behavior is to start out with very easy commands, continue to build on these successes and apply heaps of repetition. Base your puppy (child)  training sessions around trust and mutual respect rather than old school methods based on punishment, avoidance and harsh corrections. In this environment you will find that your puppy (child) loves his training sessions and his confidence will grow with each and every session.

So now I just need to find the principles for teaching my old dog (children) new tricks and life will be infinitely easier. If all else fails maybe I can buy a kennel and chuck them outside in that when they are being bad puppies (I mean children) I'm also sure if I whistled them they'd probably come sooner than when I call them, unfortunately I can't whistle - sigh.

I think I need to go and do some more research on this subject, have a great night / day.

Cheers, Fi

The most important part of education is proper training in the nursery. ~ Plato


Sunday, May 29, 2011

The mysteries of the teenage boys brain

I have yet to understand how a teenage boys brain works. If someone could invent a pill or a shot that is administered at the age of 14 then they would be a millionaire a hundred times over within the first 24 hours of it being released.

We just seem to have gotten eldest MM on the right track (yes he's 22 and still suffering from moments of teenage boy syndrome) and now middle MM (16 years old going on 2) is at it again. Being a mother is so tiring sometimes - sigh!

Middle MM has been on a police imposed curfew for several months following a moment of 'teenage boy brain' which I posted about here. This goes to court next week and advice from police is that if he claims guilt he'll be let off with a smack on the wrist (which is nothing compared to the swift boot up the butt that we have delivered) His kicking a bumper bar and punching the boot of a car is nothing on the $10,000 damage done to the car in question. Unfortunately, there's lots of teenage boy brains on the loose in society.

Last night another moment of stupidity which I am not going to discuss other than to say where is the pill or the shot to rectify this problem? Hubby and I always get comments on how well mannered, intelligent and thoughtful our children are and what an amazing work ethic they have. It makes you proud as a parent to hear this but what you can't combat is the influence of the peer group who also have 'idiot teenage boy syndrome'.

Years ago, with the oldest MM, we tried barring him from seeing the fellow 'idiot' - this backfired dismally and it's only today that eldest MM can acknowledge that person was in fact a twit and no longer has anything to do with him. We've tried a different tact with middle MM and still don't seem to be succeeding in dealing with the 'idiot boy brain syndrome'.

Middle MM has secured an apprenticeship purely through his own hard work, he has oodles of money saved in the bank and owns two cars. For a sixteen year old he's leaps and bounds ahead of all of his mates, but moments of stupidity threaten to derail all of his good work. Hubby and I feel like we're bashing our heads against a brick wall trying to get him to understand what he is doing.

Last nights incident means MM with 'teenage boy syndrome' is confined to the house for the next two weeks on hard labour. This is torturous for me, because then not only do I have 'idiot teenage boy brain', it's combined with 'surly and sulky teenage boy brain' - arrgh! I've been a teenager, albeit a girl and I know I sent my parents grey before their time but when does it end?

I hope and pray (even though I'm not religious) that youngest MM who turns 14 in six weeks will learn from his brothers and exhibit a little bit more control. Eldest MM was a walk in the park compared to middle MM and I don't think I have the energy to endure it again with the youngest.

Do we ever stop dealing with 'teenage boy brain', probably not, because I know even hubby has moments of it still and he's in his forties. I will continue to keep soldiering on, and what hairs haven't turned grey I will have pulled out by the time the youngest leaves home. If anyone knows of a remedy, voodoo doll or spell which will fix the problem, can you please forward a crate of the best to my place.

Cheers, Fi

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Baby Shower - made a nappy cake!

Or maybe it's a diaper cake depending on where you come from. Six weeks till my grandson arrives (give or take) and the baby shower was tonight. Isn't this the most amazing thing you've ever seen? Okay, so be kind if you've seen hundreds of them before and you realise that I'm showing my age by being excited about them.

When I first got the invite, I googled baby showers and these things are everywhere on the internet. I've never seen them before, which is probably understandable being that my 'baby' is almost 14 and it's a little while since I've thought about baby things. All I can say is who ever first came up with this idea is an absolute genius.

Had an absolutely lovely night and was nice to see son and daughter-in-law doing well after some horrendous weeks. It was more a family and friends BBQ than a baby shower and was a great night

Have a great weekend everyone!

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for ~ Anon

Want to play along with Six Word Saturday, it's easy? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing.

Friday, May 27, 2011

The week that was...

In the last two days I finally feel like I've been getting back to my happy place. This week has been a trying one with Tuesday being the culmination of a whole lot of stress and blech! I broke my number one rule that communication is the key to a successful life.

Tuesday morning brought the news that son would not be starting at the full time job when we'd expected which came on top of my hubby discovering that I had lent MM more money than hubby had been aware of. Stupid I know, that I didn't tell him. I was trying to avoid the discussion that son has to do things for himself. The mama bear had taken over my normal good thought processes and I was protecting my cub.

Hubby's reaction while disappointed was not the blow up that I'd expected. Then Tuesday night during a conversation with son and mother-to-be I learnt of their concerns regarding absence of baby movement for an entire day. With less than 7 weeks to go, this was slightly concerning.

My advice to them was to go down to emergency and ease their concerns because the stress of not knowing was worse. I still spent 2-3 hours worrying myself stupid that something was wrong despite my calm comments to them. With everything that they've been through lately I just couldn't imagine how they would deal with any bad news. I cried when I received the message that everything was okay, which deep down I'd known anyway.

Number one rule to myself, do not hide things and do not stress about things that may never be!

The project work has ramped up this week and we are now running at warp speed. Meetings over the last two days with the third party change management group who will be advising on the project have led to the recommendation that I be moved from a Project Administrator role into a Communications role.

My boss is dismayed because him and I work so well together but he's also the one who recommended that I was the best one for the position. This is my dream role and what I've been working towards since finishing up at university. We still have to discuss the logistics of this move, but I know that he will work things out to benefit us all. Lucky me that I have such an incredibly good boss.

Then today came confirmation finally that eldest MM will start his full time job on Monday - yeah! After a firm prod from hubby, MM also went down and spoke to the government support agency yesterday and found out that he'll be back paid money for the last six weeks that he was entitled to for limited earnings. Hubby has so far resisted the urge to tell me I told you so, but it's surely coming though.

Well that's my week in review and for the first time in ages I'm starting to a feel a tad more positive. Hope your week has been a good one too.

Cheers, Fi

Communication works for those who work at it ~ John Powell

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Meet the men in my world

My second post is up at World Moms Blogs today. My post is about my bumpy road to motherhood. You'll also notice there is now a button on the sidebar of my blog which can take you directly to World Moms Blogs - the blog has some great stories for mums and mums-to-be if you want to go and check it out.

Do you ever visit blogs with photos and think that the person looks exactly like you thought they would, or other times you read blogs and you think that the person looks nothing like you expected them to. I also do the same when I read books, I have to be able to visualise what I'm reading. In my mind I picture what the characters look like and what the settings look like, it makes the story come alive for me.

Well in keeping with my post on World Moms Blog and my journey to motherhood, here are my beautiful boys (the mere males or mm's as I affectionately refer to them) who make my world a better place, my nephew because I love him just as dearly and of course me. These are the special men in my world. I spared hubby from the torture of putting his photo up - I'll work towards that one.

In less than 7 weeks I will add another little 'man' to my photo collection of the men in my world. Do you know that I'm finding it just as torturous waiting to be a nana as I did waiting to become a mum. Well maybe not quite as bad because I've avoided the back aches, the heartburn, the feeling like a whale in the last few weeks. Okay so maybe it's not quite as torturous.

So, does reality match what you imagined - I'm guessing probably not!

The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inner most hearts, ever quite wish to. ~ Dodie Smith

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Because I believe......

Life continues to be a roller coaster ride but at least I go to work now and I'm busy all day - yeah such an awesome feeling compared to spending 8 hours of each day twiddling my thumbs. Mind you there's always something frustrating about not having enough hours in the day to do all the things that I want to do.

The only things that keep me travelling down the road of life is the love of my family and friends and believing in bigger and better things, dreaming the impossible and then making the impossible - possible.

Here are some things to consider - things that I believe in:

  • That even when you think you have no more to give, when a loved one cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.
  • We are more of who we are because of the connections we have made
  • Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results
  • That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
  • A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself
  • The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
  • That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
  • If you love something then set it free, if it was yours it will come back, if it doesn't come back then it wasn't yours to begin with.
  • You can't escape karma ... It is what it is. It doesn't judge, it's neither good nor bad like most people think. It's the result of all the actions, positive and negative--a constant balancing act of events--cause and effect--tit for tat--reaping and sowing--what goes around comes around ... However you phrase it, it's the same in the end.
Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail - Charles F. Kettering

Monday, May 23, 2011

Keeping the bottle from exploding

For as long as I can remember I've been a writer. Not a writer in the paid and published sense (not yet anyway) but a writer in the sense that I write about my life and strangely enough it's what keeps me sane. I have a cupboard full of hand written journals that I have been writing in since Moses was a baby. Okay probably not quite that long but at least since I was in single digit numbers (which is still a long time ago)

I have half written and completed stories and poems and lists. You name it and I've written about it. Something I've discovered in reading back through some of the things that I have written is how much of it has been during times when my emotions have been in disarray. When I have been ridiculously happy or scarily sad, or even confused or upset, angry or inconsolable - then writing has been my saviour.

Some people paint, some people take photographs and some of us write. It's all an outlet for what's inside. I used an analogy the other day with a family member about a bottle. When you bottle everything up inside there's only so much that will fit before the bottle gets over full and has to go somewhere. Much like an over full bottle of fizzy drink, sometimes it will explode.

I keep my bottle at a safe level by writing. I may not be that good at sharing my angst in person but I have always been able to write about it. Some of it is stuff written just for me and then discarded because once it is out then I can let it go and set it free. Some of it is stuff that I share.

Since I've discovered blogging it has achieved two things, an outlet for my prolific writing but also a forum that enables discussion and sharing on a global scale. I laughingly thanked a frequent commenter on my blog the other day for being my counsellor. He laughingly replied with a comment about his hourly rate. Well I'm a girl of honour so I've sent your cheque by carrier pigeon so you can expect it to arrive somewhere in the next twenty years or so. Ticklebear you rock and you provide some illuminating wisdom when it comes to my muddled thoughts.

There are so many more of you who comment and counsel and cheer me on and it's because of all of you that I am doubly respectful when I comment on other peoples posts. I want to be able to provide the same sort of comfort and support because damn the blogosphere is an amazing beast full of some amazing people. I'm certain that blogging is enabling many of us to keep the bottle at a safe half full level and not overflowing or ready to explode.

What about you, how do you keep the bottle from exploding?

Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. ~ Chinese Proverb

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Give me a minute, I'm just climbing onto my soapbox

Did it happen and someone forgot to tell me that the world had ended? What on earth is all the rubbish with May 21? I have obviously been living in a bubble for the last however long that people have been talking about this, because I had no idea that it was coming. I was so unprepared!

No, maybe it's because I think it's all a load of horseshit so I haven't paid any attention to it whatsoever. Last night on Facebook and in the blogosphere everyone was talking about it.

Where do these doomsday idiots get off with terrorising people? There's those of us that treat the stories with the contempt it deserves, but I resent when my children are worried by this sort of rubbish and are asking questions because everyone is talking about it.

I must point out that the massive thunderstorm that hit Adelaide at precisely 6pm last night was beautifully timed, the thunder started rumbling and seemed to go on and on. Pretty impressive that some idiot evangelist from the other side of the world could have confused the end of the world with an almighty thunderstorm in little ol' Adelaide.

Now we have the 21st October to look forward to, because if we were saved from the 21st May then that's the next day in the calendar when 'IT' is meant to occur. Or maybe it's the 21st December 2012? Give me a break people, if the world is going to end then it will happen and nobody can do anything about it and I sure as hell don't want to waste my time worrying about when or if it's going to happen.

If I genuinely knew when the world was going to end would I do anything different? I'm sure we all would. We'd tell our loved ones how much they mean to us, we'd stop worrying about paying bills and saving money for the future. We'd just spend more time doing the things that we want to do and we'd share precious quality moments with those who're important to us.

The fact is, these are all things that we should be doing every day not just when some idiot picks a date out of the calendar and terrifies the world with his predictions.

For a touch of reality - go and check out this blog that I found last night (there are so many stories that I didn't know which one to link to) Adrienne is a mother of four, who's youngest child suffers from bipolar and psychotic episodes (he's 9) - never EVER will I post again about how hard being a mother is without thinking of what this woman goes through on a daily basis. Her strength and the honesty in what she writes is inspiring. I spent an hour or two reading her posts and was absolutely speechless.

All the mind's activity is easy if it is not subjected to reality. ~ Marcel Proust

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Are we our own worst enemies?

If you agree with the following comments, then you probably know what I'm talking about.
  • Nobody is as tough on me as I am on myself.
  • No-one expects as much of me as I do of myself. 
  • Nobody beats me up as emotionally as I beat myself up.
It's a hard lesson to learn that I don't have to do it all and be it all. I can only do what I can do. It's about choosing the important things and knowing that the rest can wait, in fact the other things probably weren't that important in the first place.

I need to learn to be my own best friend.

  • To listen to what my heart and body are telling me.  
  • To cheer myself on and give myself a pat on the back occasionally. 
  • To take care of myself and know that I've done my best, no matter what the results are. 
  • To take the time just to be in the moment and enjoy the simple fact of being alive.
I'm slowly learning to be my own best friend and give myself the same care and consideration that I give my friends - what about you, do you show yourself the same courtesies that you do your friends?

'We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.' ~ Roderick Thorp

Note: I always search for a quote and an image after I write a post which ties in with what I have written - how's this for a quote though, I could have written it myself.

Want to play along with Six Word Saturday, it's easy? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Gonna be a bear!

What a hectic week it has been. Yesterday was all go with drama and happy wrapped up in one day. I was so tired last night that I simply didn't have the energy to blog. I signed the papers for my middle MM's apprenticeship yesterday morning at the ungodly hour of 7am, but hey I would have been there at 5am if that's what it took.

Oldest MM rang about the job yesterday and had to go down this morning to sign up with the job agency. They gave him a hi-vis shirt which is a good sign that they will be starting him soon. The woman who was organising it was away today so hopefully he'll get a call on Monday with a start date.

This required us to be on the road at 7.15am this morning because the job agency was an hours drive away and I had to be at work at 9am. Such is the life of a mother. So I'm pretty exhausted tonight but a happier sort of exhausted than I have been recently.

Middle MM sits his drivers license test tomorrow morning, despite not being able to drive on his own till next January when he turns 17, not sure how this works but the law is the law, even if it doesn't make sense.

Because I'm all done in and not feeling too wordy tonight, let me share something that a darling friend sent me today because this is too perfect for words not to share. Thanks Suzy!

In my next life, I'm gonna be a bear....

In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake up to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business and you swat away anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.


Have a great weekend everyone

Cheers, Fi

One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful. - Sigmund Freud

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

OMG - You'll never believe it........

How is this for the power of positive thinking? Three good things in one day - simply amazing! Hold on to your hats and dig our your dancing shoes because amazingly our project has finally been given approval. So I'm doing my long awaited happy dance across the floor at the moment - be thankful that you can't see me because I'm not a dancer (and never will be).

Okay I know about positivity and optimism, but after 260 days of waiting I have been struggling to maintain it.

Now I can spend the next four years moaning about how busy I am instead of moaning about having nothing to do - just kidding, I'll try not to complain too much. Is it a fact of human nature that we're never quite happy with what we've got and we always want something different?

Honestly, I am just happy that finally a decision has been made. Whether it was a yes or a no, the decision just needed to be made. I'm thankful knowing that my job is safe which is definitely a huge wait off my shoulders especially in view of all the other dramas that have been happening lately.

I can now be magnanimous and understanding of why it took soooo damn long to approve a $37m project. Yeah, yeah I know it’s a lot of money but it’s still been an excruciating wait for approval. I'm sure this project will frustrate me and take me to breaking point but will also reward me with some amazing experiences and challenges.

Life now gets interesting as we me move into fast forward in preparation for the project team who will assemble on the 5th September. There’s a huge amount of work to be done between now and then. We have new premises to be organised and ordering of all the required equipment needed for a team of 70+ people who will be joining us from all over Australia (not to mention the logistics of relocating those people to Adelaide either)

These people will be coming out of some of the 20 odd companies that our parent company owns and will be bringing the knowledge and skills of their individual businesses to assist in the biggest project and capital expenditure that our company has ever conducted.

We will be modelling and configuring an entire IT solution to suit the future strategic requirements for the company. Not an easy task when it means assimilating all the individual requirements of each business into one templated solution.

Second good thing to happen today - yes it doesn't rain, it pours. A darling family friend has offered my son a regular paying full time job, a few formalities to go through but hopefully within the next week or two he will be getting paid for the work he does and working only a short distance from home.

Last but definitely not least, tomorrow morning I have a meeting to sign off on a school based apprenticeship for my middle son. If anyone has ever doubted the power of positive thinking then think again. There's a few more things to straighten out in righting the things in my life, but here's hoping the other things will benefit from the flow on effect of marvellous happenings in my world. Two of the biggies have been solved and I am thankful beyond words.

To all of you who have been along for the journey and providing your support - thank you a million times over.

Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time ~ Charles M. Schulz

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Happy days are coming....

Not the Fonz kind of Happy Days that were a strong part of my childhood television viewing but happy days in my world. This is because I'm sick of riding the roller coaster of life and I'm ready to get off. I'm continuing to think happy thoughts but I'm forcing myself to do it as the universe keeps throwing it's landmines at my feet.

I came home in an absolute funk today, some days no matter what happy things you tell yourself it 's hard, damn hard. Then I watched the news tonight and I saw the story on the triple murder which occurred in Queensland yesterday including the death of a 5 year old child and I gave myself a swift slap upside the head and thanked god that I'm alive and healthy and so are my children.

I know that happier days are coming for my family, it's just a matter of remaining strong and believing. So what would be considered a happy day in my life at the moment?
  • A regular well paying job for my son
  • A chat with a friend who has good things happening in their life
  • A healthy, bouncing grandson (just a smidge over 7 weeks to go)
  • A breakthrough for both family members who're struggling with things at the moment
  • Signing the papers confirming my middle son's apprenticeship
  • Firm approval on this project that I'm currently working on, actually no, make that a company wide announcement of Board approval for the project.
  • Being able to wake up without a sick feeling in my belly (and no its nothing other than stress)
  • Having an appetite again (and yes that's stress too)
  • A hug from each of my boys - including hubby (this is the most achievable and is what keeps me going each day)
  • Finishing the edits on my first novel
What about you - what constitutes a happy day for you?

Cheers, Fi

How's this, I was searching for a 'happy' image to put on this post and an ad came on television with the first words that were spoken being 'happiness is easy' - okay so it was an ad for gravy but nonetheless how's that for irony?

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. ~ John Barrymore

Monday, May 16, 2011

Has anyone seen my mojo?

Do you ever feel like sometimes you’re a bit of a hypocrite?  Well allow me this moment of feeling like a hypocrite because I’ve had a small flicker of enlightenment. I sat here today staring at the title of my blog and realising that I’ve lost some of the mojo that inspired that title in the first place.

So why am I no longer feeling inspired and optimistic about my life? It’s because somewhere along the way the human me (as opposed to the super human me who has amazing powers) got a little bit bogged down with worrying about things that simply will be what they will be. Worrying won’t fix them – and yes I hear those of you who are saying but we’ve been telling you that.

I’ve written on this blog for months about setting goals and positive thinking and that’s because that’s what I do, it’s what I’m good at. Well most of the time anyway. Now a big fat whammy has disrupted my life and while it doesn’t directly affect me it has thrown my loved ones into turmoil and what did I do, I suddenly threw in the towel and jumped into the pit of despair with them.

More than ever this is the time when I need to follow my own advice and remember the importance of positive thinking and encouraging words. Not just saying them but believing them and living them as well.

As Karyn said yesterday on my post, sometimes it takes baby steps every day. This time though it will be me guiding a loved one through the baby steps and helping them to help themselves. Where have I been going wrong? I’ve been trying to save the world by myself and feeling like the weight of the world is sitting on my shoulders. Yes it's a problem that I often suffer from - my 'I can fix the world' complex.

Its hard writing this blog sometimes because there’s me that needs to talk about the things that are weighing me down and clouding my normally super clear focus and there’s my respect for those that are going through hard times and don’t need me broadcasting their problems out to the blogosphere.

So consequently as my first step, here are my positive affirmations for this week:

      1)  I trust in the process of life
      2)  Everything is getting better every day.
      3)  I am calm and relaxed in every situation
      4)  Good times are coming

So I will say them, believe them and live them. However, if anyone finds my mojo before I do - please send it home, I'm missing it.

Cheers, Fi

All of life is a journey; which paths we take, what we look back on, and what we look forward to is up to us. We determine our destination, what kind of road we will take to get there, and how happy we are when we get there ~ Little Book of Happiness

Sunday, May 15, 2011

When bad things happen to good people

I have always believed that everything happens for a reason and I speak about it often on my blog. That doesn't mean I understand why these things happen or that I don't feel powerless when they do. We all go through bad times and good and often the bad times make us appreciate the good things in our lives.

Two sets of family members are going through some particularly trying times at the moment and I am finding it hard to keep the faith that everything happens for a reason. One set of family members I am powerless to do anything but provide an ear for listening and share a small part of the pain they are experiencing.

The other set I can listen to and be there for them and in some cases do more to assist, but at the same time I am still powerless to take away their pain and make the problems go away. There's a saying that a problem shared is a problem halved and to some extent that is true, often just speaking about problems is the first step in discovering ways to solve them.

To some, the problems would seem quite minor compared to the suffering that others may be experiencing but when they affect our lives it's hard to remember that there are others much worse off.

My daughter-in-law (because thats what she is in my heart) quoted a marvellous saying on her Facebook page the other day by Marilyn Monroe which sums all of this up 'I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.'

What we can remember when we're going through tough times, or when people we love are going through tough times is that family are there to support and to listen. We can't take away the pain or the suffering but we can be there (even from a distance) and shit we can be there to celebrate and cheer the good times.

To my loved ones who are suffering at the moment, my heart aches for you and the tears fall for you but I am there sharing your pain and wishing good times are not far away.

To those of you reading this post today, be especially grateful for your loved ones - especially your children and reach out to someone who may need a little bit of extra lovin' during a trying time.

'Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging' ~ Joseph Campbell

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Arrggh - Blogger down for a day

This morning I've been hopping around the regular blogs I read and it's obvious that I wasn't the only one dismayed by Blogger chucking a wobble yesterday. Amazing how we come to rely on something being available.

Last night with Blogger out of action I actually had to think about what I was going to do with myself. What a sad state of affairs! Hubby was working, kids were doing their own thing and television was well - crap as usual. My completed novel was sitting and gelling for a while before I start my edits and quite honestly with recent family dramas I honestly wasn't feeling creative anyway.

I almost resorted to my hand written journal but it's not quite the same any more. So I read a book, a light hearted frivolous book. Probably just what was needed actually, a nice relaxing evening on the lounge with the heater keeping me toasty warm and no energy required.

I've read the status report from Blogger and there are still a few little whoopsies upsetting the blogosphere which I am noticing this morning, not the least of which is some comments have disappeared. So if your comment is not showing from Thursday's post - apologies, blame Blogger.

Have a great weekend everyone. Cheers, Fi

What about you, did Blogger mess up your day and / or night or couldn't you care less?

Want to play along with Six Word Saturday, it's easy? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Good little me

No sickie today – still went to work like the dedicated, reliable employee that I am. Didn’t make much difference though, I still had nothing to do. Despite this I’m thankful that I even have a job at the moment.

They had a special report on television last night about the unemployment rates in Australia and the changes that the new Federal Government budget will bring to welfare benefits. Welfare benefits exist for a reason and I support the need for reform, because I have little respect for those who are receiving benefits because they are too lazy to work or can’t be bothered searching for a job.

I’m deeply concerned though about the impact this will have on those who are currently trying to improve their circumstances and are struggling to find employment – will their struggle now become impossible because they aren’t deemed ‘long term unemployed’ and potential employers won't be able to access the wage subsidies that are being offered to those who hire the 'long term unemployed'?

My oldest son is in a commission paid job at the moment where he works horrendous hours for minimal return in terms of the effort put in. This poses problems when they’re trying to prepare for a new baby and pay their bills when his income is not regular. Some weeks it’s not so bad, others not so good and we have been helping them out. He has been valiantly searching for a ‘regular’ job for months and is applying for anything and everything.

This post was originally a long winded discussion on my gripes with the government and their lack of direction for the future. I deleted most of it for fear of boring you all to death. Sadly the comparisons I could make between the government and ‘big’ business are huge, but I’ll refrain from doing that also.

I am having one of those days when I feel totally and utterly helpless because I'm unable to fix a problem? The stress this problem is creating is doing my head in and I feel powerless. It’s not a feeling that I like. At this stage I'm not going to bore you with the details of that either, just had to voice my frustration.

On a lighter note I got this in an email today and had to share it because it was so darn cute.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

My nerdy confession - I love words.

I am going out of mind with boredom; I know everyone has been hearing this same old story for months on end but today has been the absolute worst day at work so far. Today is the first day that I have seriously considered having a sickie tomorrow because an 8-hour day of having to ‘create’ things to do is driving me crazy.

On the plus side, I have investigated holiday destinations for our end of the year overseas jaunt. We had discussed taking the boys to Bali but are now wavering about whether we might go to Phuket instead. Hubby doesn’t mind where we go but would like to take a detour through Darwin.

Where we go depends more on the money bag, which is half empty at the moment because hubby now has a bigger man cave (new shed). I’ve been holding off on booking or organising anything until I know what was happening with the project. At this rate though, I’ll be 109 before we get there if I wait for the project to be sorted out.

A flight from Adelaide to Darwin, which is the top end of Australia, costs $200 more than the cost of flying from Adelaide to Bali. How on earth does that work that it is cheaper to fly to an international destination than fly within your own country.

Due to a lack of excitement in my life at this moment, let me stun you with my brilliance and my dictionary skills (i.e my ability to amuse myself) and share some of my favourite words. Okay I admit, even when I do have plenty to do, I still have a love of words.

It's probably the writer in me or it could simply be because I spent most of my childhood with my nose buried in a book, either way there are certain words that roll of the tongue and which are well, basically euphonious (a pleasant sounding word). I'm also something of a spelling and editing freak (see mum, you always said I was destined to be a writer)

Here are some of my favourites:

Synchronicity - The simultaneous occurrence of events with no discernible causal connection.

Serendipity - The occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

Inspiration - The process or quality of being inspired, a sudden brilliant or timely idea.

Epiphany - A moment of sudden and great revelation.

Aphrodisiac - A substance that arouses passionate sensual desire.

Onomatopoeia - The formation or use of words that imitate the sounds associated with the objects or actions they refer to.

Chortle - A snorting, joyful laugh or chuckle.

Flibbertigibbet - A silly, scatterbrained person

Hullabaloo - A great noise or commotion; a hubbub

Hyperbole - Deliberate exaggeration, not meant to be taken literally.

So do you have a nerdy confession or a favourite word that you're willing to share?

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! ~ Audrey Hepburn

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

In the trenches - communicating with boys

I recently read a post by the Blog Antagonist about being the mother of boys and the problems with communication. I read every word of what she had to say and couldn’t help but laugh because I understood exactly what she was saying.

Yesterday I had a gripe at hubby at the way he communicated something to me. It wasn’t what he said that irritated me but the choice of words and his timing. He fails to see why I was upset by it. Ringing me at work an hour before I was due to leave and venting his anger about something one of our boys had done was unnecessary. He could have waited until I got home and also phrased it better so I didn’t feel like it was my problem (which it wasn’t).

But here in lies the problem because males and females are different. I’m a total sap and emotion guides a lot of my communication (for good or for bad) whereas males tend to be more factual and logical and don’t often consider the way the message is received. They know what they mean after all.

This is the same with my boys, at night I want to talk to them about their day, what’s happening, how are things – gees it’s like pulling teeth. They’re getting better because I refuse to give in and will talk to them until I get the answers that satisfy me. It's not about forcing them or cornering them to get answers, but building trust with them so that they feel comfortable talking to me. Hubby often makes the remark ‘well, why did they tell you that and not me’. Ah hello, different communication styles.

Communication in our house can sometimes be difficult for that reason and has to be worked at. Often I have to ‘interpret’ hubby’s message for the boys. He always comments ‘but that’s what I meant’, yes that’s what you meant but that’s not the message that you gave. My hubby has a heart of gold and always means well but can be very frustrating when he doesn’t understand that it’s not only what you say but how you say it.

I've found the best conversations with my boys are when we are doing something else, for some reason I think it removes any threat or discomfort about talking openly. Driving in the car is the best and is quite often where we have some of our best conversations.

I do find it hard to deal with the boy way of communicating sometimes, my boys often communicate with a punch or a thump which is frustrating in itself but often that’s what boys do and five minutes later the issue is resolved. I listen to my hubby and his mates and they can get into rousing discussions and I wonder how they remain friends with some of the things that are said.

Having said that though, most of my close friends through high school were males because the one thing they were good at doing was saying it as it was. There’s no bitchiness or cat fighting in discussions with males, sure they may not necessarily say it in the right way but at least they come straight out and say it. You know where you stand and it’s to your face not behind your back.

Maybe I have the wrong take on it, but would love to hear your opinions on communicating with males. Is it easier when you have daughters?

Cheers, Fi

The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives ~ Anthony Robbins

Monday, May 9, 2011

Managing my reactions

The one thing that irritates me immensely and which I am powerless to change is when other people’s poor time management impacts on me. In particular, we have two family members who no matter where we go or what we are doing – they will always be late. This happened last night with our Mother’s Day dinner.

We all arrived at the restaurant at 5.30 as specified by my brother-in-law. He has carried out electrical work at this restaurant on a number of occasions so was lucky enough to organise a reservation. This restaurant is tremendously popular and is always extremely difficult to get a reservation at.

My other brother-in-law rang at 5.45 to say that he and his wife were still at home and wouldn’t be leaving for at least another 15 minutes. That meant they were going to be at least 45 minutes late. This infuriates me, it was a Sunday so neither of them was working that day, and they have no children - so what the hell is a reasonable excuse for being so late? There wasn’t one.

We live twice as far away, hubby worked that day and we had two children with us, yet we still got there on time.

Their lack of consideration infuriates me because brother-in-law who organised the reservation had told us that the restaurant were running two sittings that night and we would need to clear our table by a certain time – understandable request and was no problem until we were forced to wait for the late arrivals. In the end we ordered our meals, none of the nine of us who had arrived on time were prepared to wait any longer. They ordered when they arrived and still received their meals at the same time as us – grrr!

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that sometimes events beyond our control mean that we will have occasions when we are running late. But not all the time! This is simply poor time management, a lack of consideration for others and plain outright rudeness.

So I have several options in dealing with their behaviour – the four A’s of dealing with stressful situations (which any of you can use for stressful situations in your own lives) More detailed information on dealing with stressful situations is available here
1) Avoid the situation entirely (This is a little bit difficult because they’re family)
2) Alter the situation (I could say something to them, which will probably just cause hassles and will it change things, probably not)
3) Adapt myself to the situation (This is along the lines of giving them earlier times for dinner dates etc and hoping that works to ensure they arrive on time – for important things I probably would, but to be honest I can’t be bothered. Besides I rarely set up these things being that it’s my husbands side of the family)
4) Accept the situation (this for me is probably the best option – basically I need to change my reaction to what’s annoying me)

So in dealing with this sort of stressful situation in the future, I know that I need to change my reaction to the situation. I need to keep this in mind for next time, if they’re not there when we’re ready to order tough luck, we’ll order. Then they’ll just have to deal with their own lack of consideration, instead of us enabling their behaviour by waiting until they arrive.

For the record, the meal (once we finally got it) was well worth the wait.
Cheers, Fi

Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. ~ M. Scott Peck

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mothers make the world go round

This day for me is about rejoicing in the joys that motherhood means for me. My journey as a mother has been one of tears, of pride, of joy and of frustration. It is also my last Mothers Day as just a 'mum', because next year I will be a mum and a nana. My three boys make my world a better place and I cherish each and every one of them and the 'men' they have become or will become.

Just realised this is another six words to describe my life - if any of you are visiting from Six Word Saturday - that post is the next one down. LOL

My family is very heavy in terms of males but two females who have joined the ranks to help my mother and I even up the imbalance, are my brothers fiance and my eldest's son's fiance. This is where I get confused though, neither are 'in-laws' as yet, which is quite honestly a term I dislike anyway but the word fiance also seems so impersonal.

My brothers partner and also the mother of my nephew has been a part of our family for years and is the sister I never had, she is also one of my best friends. Same with my son's fiance and soon to be the mother of my first grandchild, she's the daughter I always wanted. I would never have dreamed that someone so likeable and perfect for either my brother or my son existed.

So here's my dilemma - what should I call these wonderful female family members when referencing them in conversations, because the words fiance and future in-laws is way too impersonal for what they mean to me.

These two and my mother are the special 'mothers' in my life. They bring value to our family and are all a part of this marvellous thing called Mother's Day. I hate the commercialism of Mothers Day (as I do on any special day of the year), to me it's about love and respect. Family supporting each other and showing our appreciation.

My son and that special other part of him came for dinner last night - which turned out to be a lovely evening. My heart goes out to her because she is also not one of the 'glowing mothers-to-be' and is having a rough time. I hear you on that one hon, and I still went back for a second and third time (sucker for punishment?) Only nine weeks to go though - hang it there babe.

My brother and his other special counterpart went on a shopping mission for me yesterday, because they also have the benefit of living in the same town as my parents. The ability to pick something that I would have chosen is what makes her even more special.

Then of course there is my mum, without who, none of us would be celebrating Mothers Day today. Love you mum.

Well, as I write this, the youngest two men in my life (the mm's) are furiously mowing lawns and gardening, and then will move on to washing my car - I love Mothers Day, but am blessed because they do these things everyday. Then we're off out to dinner tonight with hubby's family to a Greek restaurant that I have been dying to try.

It's also a beautiful day in the blogosphere today, I have a feast of sites to visit thanks in part to Jessica at Writers Shadow who is hosting a blog carnival and also Cate at the marvellously popular Six Word Saturday.

Hope this day is a fantastic one for mothers everywhere (and tomorrow for those of you visiting from the other side of the world) My heart is also with those of you today who have lost a child or a mother, because I know that this must be a very difficult day for you.

One last thing, for those of you that haven't seen this poem via my 'In my Words' tab on my blog, Facebook page or through World Moms Blogs, please take the time to have a look - it sums up motherhood perfectly for me. Quite simply Mean Moms rule!

Cheers, Fi

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~ Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Wealth is not measured in money

I'm fabulously wealthy! But before any of you who're simply passing through the blogosphere get excited and set out to discover where I live, perhaps you should know my definition of wealth.

We are by no means financially well off, we have a mortgage and we both need to work to pay the bills just like millions of others. We don't have a fancy house or drive expensive cars and all of the extra-ordinary expenses still need to be carefully considered and evaluated. While we are better off than we were when our children were younger and we were struggling to survive on one wage, we are not financially wealthy .

See I’ve been thinking about these six words a lot lately. I believe that our wealth is not measured by money or our ability to pay the bills, our wealth is measured by our life experiences. Money makes life easier but having a happy and healthy family, good friends, new learning experiences, enjoyable times, hopes and dreams to me are the definition of true wealth. There’s a whole lot more that contribute to our wealth, but these are the essential ones for me.

In which case, I’m extremely grateful because this makes me wealthy beyond my wildest dreams.

To my beautiful mother, you and dad were the ones who taught me how to be fabulously wealthy and also taught me to grab every opportunity with both hands. Thank you and I love you. - Hope you have a fantastic Mothers Day and I'm sorry that we can't be there to share it with you.

If you believe in my six words, pop by and read this post which I found after writing this and wanted to share with you all because it perfectly coincides with my words.

Cheers, Fi

Want to play along with Six Word Saturday, it's easy? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing.

True wealth is not measured in money or status or power. It is measured in the legacy we leave behind for those we love and those we inspire. – Cesar Chavez

Friday, May 6, 2011

This is the tantrum to end all tantrums

I have just read the most hilarious and tragically sad behaviour of a writer that I have ever witnessed. I recently posted about wishing that sometimes I could have a tantrum and throw myself on the floor screaming. This wanna-be-writer did exactly that, only she broadcast her entire vitriolic outburst in response to an honest and open review of her self published book across the internet for all bloggers, agents and publishers to see.

The review post has gone viral on the internet and is hitting Facebook and Twitter sites at a rapid rate. The reviewer of this book now has more blog traffic than could ever be imagined and has been forced to close the comment thread at 309 comments. I laughed as I started reading some of the comments (including those of the author who had been reviewed) and then I felt saddened that this woman has decimated any career chances she may dream of as a writer.

I now most certainly know what I should not be doing in trying to publish my book. It is also a timely lesson about the power of blog posts. Blogs in most cases are the owner’s personal opinions and viewpoints on life. We are all free to post whatever we want and people will either read it or they won’t and will also comment or they won’t.

It is not expected though that when someone makes a fair and honest assessment of something you have written, be it blog post, story or poem, that you would verbally abuse them (continuously on their site) and not wind up looking like a total fool, especially when what that person has said is accurate.

I know that if you haven’t already seen this, then you will want to go and check it out, so here is the link to the review. The comments must be read after the review to get an understanding of the extent of this woman’s outburst.

For the record - the crazy lady lying on the floor and throwing an almighty tantrum in this case - is not me!

Cheers, Fi
Sometimes we know we shouldn’t and that’s exactly why we do ~ Anon

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Maybe we all should have tantrums

I had to laugh this morning, I was driving to work and they were talking about kids throwing tantrums and how parents cope with them on the radio. One mum who called in said that her 3 year old son threw an almighty tantrum at a local shopping centre. It was the throw yourself on the ground kicking and screaming sort of tantrum.

Her response was gold - she threw herself down beside him and kicked and screamed along side him. Passers-by were amused and somewhat concerned, but the best part was her son who was horrified and begged her to stop with the words 'no more mommy, please no more, I'll be good'

I wish that I had been as confident as a young mum to do the same thing. They say as a parent the best response is to ignore them, no audience then no performance. Sometimes easier said than done when you're shopping and in a hurry.

Mind you I think teenagers are still pretty good at throwing tantrums as well. It's meant to be a learning process, children get frustrated and by throwing a tantrum they learn about the process of how to calm themselves. Hmm I'm sure there are still some adults who didn't pay attention during this childhood learning process either.

In fact some days now I wish I could still throw myself on the ground and kick and scream my frustration - surely it's healthier to get it all out than to bottle it up inside. (So if by chance you see some crazy woman having a screaming tantrum on the floor - it may just be me)

We used to say that he who threw the biggest tantrum won the day.~ Neil Finn

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Listening to my heart

I've always had strong beliefs about intuition and the power of the mind. It partly comes from the comment I made yesterday and the way I was raised which makes me believe everything happens for a reason. That doesn't mean I always listen to my inner voice or that my fears don't drown it out, but sometimes I listen and I actually pay attention.

This morning I was running late for work, a problem that comes from being a 'night' person. I still told myself that I wasn't going to speed and I would get to work when I got there. Yay me for actually listening to that voice, because it probably saved me from a car accident.

Approaching a set of traffic lights that were green I was doing the speed limit not speeding which I had considered because it's a straight stretch in an 80km zone and I was running late. A car waiting to pull onto the road I was travelling on gave way to me, as she should have. The car behind her didn't, thus rear ending her and pushing her straight out into my lane. Had I have been speeding or a couple of seconds further down the road I would have hit her drivers door.

As it was, I had time to brake and move out and around her, thanking my lucky stars that there was also no-one in the lane next to me. Was it luck, was it a case of things happening for a reason or was it simply me listening to my intution. Probably all three of them. Whatever the reason I sat precisely on the speed limit the rest of the way to work and said a thousand thank you's to whoever was riding with me today and protecting me.

I am currently reading a book called 'Discover your Inner Wisdom' by Char Margolis which is an enlightening book about listening to and developing your intuition. I could actually tell you the times when I have listened and been right in my actions, and I can also tell you times when I haven't listened and let my fear over ride what my heart was telling me.

The last 12 months have been very up and down in my life and I have gradually let my fears creep up and grab hold. I think this happens more when you don't feel in control of the direction your life is taking and start second guessing everything and everyone. As a very wise person pointed out recently "I don't mean to burst your bubble, but no one truly is, in control"

I'm taking this near miss today as my message that I need to listen to what my heart is telling me and know that things will work out just the way they are meant to. Yes I have to contribute because I still hold the reins on my life (or have my hands on the steering wheel as the case may be) but instead of second guessing myself and driving myself crazy with stupid thoughts I will just go with what feels right to me and know that I can't control everything that happens.

How about you, do you listen to your heart or do you second guess?

Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out. ~ Michael Burke

Monday, May 2, 2011

Four Principles of Spirituality

The wave of positivity that I was riding has a huge big obstacle sitting in the middle of it, though its not enough yet to cause me to wipe out. We still have no word on the project - so I'm frustrated beyond belief.

What do I want to talk about instead, I'm not even sure. I was so focused on us getting an answer today and now I'm just annoyed and angry. I know that any of you who have been following my blog for a while were probably expecting a 'no answer' because that's what it's been every other time.

I feel like every time we don't get an answer that my working life is put on hold. I'm bored beyond belief with very little to do except create action registers filled with all the things we have to do, if we ever get approval. If it's going to be no, why the hell can't they just say so, then I can move on and find something new and exciting to do.

I'm feeling a little maudlin tonight, no answer on the project and now that my characters are all tucked up and finished with I'm at a bit of a loose end. I'm thinking I need to start writing again but I'm not sure what I want to write yet, I also think I need to give myself some breathing space before I dive back into writing.

I'm going to share something with you that Fi had on her blog several days ago (great name, even better principles) if you get a chance pop by and give her some blog love at Calm Blue Ocean. I loved these principles because I think that they can apply for anyone no matter what your religion or beliefs.

So while we've had no answer on the project yet, I will read and absorb these principles and remind myself of a belief that my mum and dad instilled in me as a child and that's 'Everything happens for a reason', even if we can't understand why at the time.

The Four Principles of Spirituality:

The First Principle States: "Whomsoever you encounter is the right one"

This means that no one comes into our life by chance. Everyone who is around us, anyone with whom we interact, represents something, whether to teach us something or to help us improve a current situation.

The Second Principle States: "Whatever happened is the only thing that could have happened"

Nothing, absolutely nothing of that which we experienced could have been any other way. Not even in the least important detail. There is no "If only I had done that differently..., then it would have been different." No. What happened is the only thing that could have taken place and must have taken place for us to learn our lesson in order to move forward. Every single situation in life which we encounter is absolutely perfect, even when it defies our understanding and our ego.

The Third Principle States: "Each moment in which something begins is the right moment"

Everything begins at exactly the right moment, neither earlier nor later. When we are ready for it, for that something new in our life, it is there, ready to begin.

This is the Fourth Principle, the final one: "What is over, is over"

It is that simple. When something in our life ends, it helps our evolution. That is why, enriched by the recent experience, it is better to let go and move on.

Would love to hear your thoughts on the principles of spirituality and thanks Fi for sharing.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. ~ Reinhold Niebuhr

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Feeling Euphoric

I have just typed the words The End, my book is complete and coming to a book store near you real soon (okay maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself - but hey I have to dream) I'm doing a little happy dance at the moment, if only you could see. Just as well you can't really. Six months of writing have resulted in 32 chapters, containing 207 pages with 81301 words. Wow!

Now I put it away for a few weeks and let it gel before I begin the hard work of editing and proofing it. I also begin the education process of what I need to do to get it published, if in fact it's good enough. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, because I know the hardest part is still ahead of me.

The thing is, I've done it. My most dearly held dream, goal - whatever you want to call it has been accomplished.

This has been my most productive week of holidays in years, maybe not the most enjoyable but definitely the most rewarding. Tomorrow I return to work and fingers crossed (because yes I'm riding a positive wave at the moment) our project will also get approval. Nine months of waiting for project approval and tomorrow is d-day.

This week is definitely a monumental one! Hope you've also had a super weekend.

Cheers, Fi

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. ~ Dale Carnegie