Sunday, July 1, 2012

Still testing the waters

How is it possible to get to forty years of age and still not be certain what you really want to do? Quite easily I guess and I'm sure I'm not alone.

Here's the thing, I spent the first 13 years of my life with my head stuck between the pages of a book, the next four years were spent dreaming up ways to irritate and frustrate my parents - well not really, I was too busy pushing the boundaries and limits of the teenage life but it still had the same result of irritating and frustrating them. So yes karma bites hard and my boys are living proof.

From the ages of 17 -25 I was mum - with first, second and third sons arriving in timely manner - the karma bringers as it were. After number three arrived I started bemoaning the fact that due to my rebellious years I hadn't finished school and I had little education to speak of.

So I took myself back to school to get my matric (high school certificate for non Adelaideans) A part-time job for me was essential with a growing family, so university then took me six years part time to complete. It's more of a challenge when you do it with three children, a husband, a part time job and a mortgage. I should have done it when I was young, single and free. We live and learn.

From the factory floor of my part time job, I catapulted into Human Resources because I had a uni degree, a big mouth, an opinion and some semblance of intelligence. From there I went onto organising the boss and then to a project where I eventually fell into a communications role. All within the same group of companies.

I'm still not sure that I've found my true direction. Writing has always been a strong driver and has coloured every subject and job I've tackled but I've always had a strong leaning towards design as well, so now in my forty first year (gees that's old) I'm still not one hundred percent which direction I need to go or even want to go.

I do know that it will eventually be working for myself (I may be sixty before that happens but it will happen), and it will be at my own pace and earning what I'm really worth. But for now I'm testing the water in a number of large puddles to see which one suits me best. Oh and if I can travel in amongst all that well then I'll be the happiest person on the planet.

Too many choices, too many directions to take and I'm way too impatient. So, have you always known what you wanted to do or are you still dipping your toes in the pond of life as well.

Cheers, Fi


  1. Forty one isn't old Fiona! I think it is great that you feel the freedom to be able to change direction as and when you need to, to enable you to follow your dreams. Keep it up!

  2. I know you can do anything you set your mind to, Fi! I have to be honest and tell you that even as a teacher myself I don't agree that all students are suited to going to college right after high school. It takes some of us longer to find what we really want out of life. I know my husband is starting to lay hints that he wants more education. He has no idea what it is he wants to do, but he would like to take a class here or there to find out. I think education and following our dreams means a lot more to us when we have had some life experience. I know my graduation last year was a LOT more meaningful to me and I am a WAY better teacher at 38 than I would have been at 25. There is certainly nothing wrong with dipping your toes in the water to see what feels good!

  3. Lol! Reading this I'm feeling ancient :). It will be what it will be. Enjoy where you're at and let the future unfold. Btw. I am in awe of your achievements!

  4. Still dipping. I think we are all a work in progress. I think I know the core of the direction I want to go, it is just getting there. Mission work. Like writing for you. I have wanted to do this and slowly I am getting my feet wet, can't dive into the deep end just yet. Just as long as you know where you want to go that is always a good start. I am also in awe of all of your achievements. Being a single mom for a few years myself with two small children I know it is no easy task. But we moms, we do what we have to do, to support our children. Have a great weekend!


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