Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Building trusting relationships

You could be forgiven for thinking that I've renamed my blog 'Blonde on a Soapbox', given that I've been on something of a rant this week. Bad parents, martians and people who turn a blind eye tend to get me going as you've probably noticed. So anyway I've packed the soapbox into the back of my cupboard and I've climbed back onto my inspiration box again.

I like to consider myself as a person with integrity and for that reason trust is important to me. I've mentioned before that I've often been warned about the rose coloured glasses that I wear which sometimes colour my view and makes me believe in the good in people. That's me, that's who I am and I refuse to apologise for it. I do take it personally though when people break my trust.

So here's some of the things I do to build trust and maintain positive relationships - or at least the things that I attempt to do:
1)  I tell the truth and I endeavour to be open in communication (I say what I mean and I mean what I say)
2)  I favour reliability in others and so in return I work hard and I honour promises I make. If I say I'm going to do something or be somewhere at a certain time then that's what I do.
3)  I act as fairly as is humanly possible, everyone deserves to be treated equally and with respect.
4)  I help others, where I can and within my capabilities because it gives me a sense of satisfaction.

That's not to say I'm perfect, I'm far from it. Only recently I posted about my dilemma in not being completely open with my hubby about the money I had lent my son. The truth is even I slip up occasionally (lots). When this happens though I like to think that I can admit that I'm wrong, despite being stubborn and pigheaded at times. (My mother is probably laughing out loud at this comment and hubby definitely would be if he read my blog)

Trust, honesty and integrity are all traits that I try to encourage in my children. Middle MM is classic for admitting when he is wrong and has messed up, he has been this way since he was a small child. I can remember a meeting with the principal when MM was in about grade 2. The principal retold the story when I arrived of how he had called MM into his office and asked him why he thought he was there. MM had then reeled off a list of all of the things that he had done wrong. Principal told us he had to laugh because none of those minor reasons were why he had called MM into his office in the first place.

Our trust of course has been challenged lately because of MM's escapades but to this day MM has remained honest in admitting when he has done something wrong, he doesn't lie, he doesn't blame anyone else. He steps up and faces it like a man, even with the recent trouble with police he has been totally honest. I value this highly in my child and it gives me hope that this trait will always remain and will help him become the man that I know he can become.

None of us is perfect, but admitting when you've messed up and taking steps to learn from your mistakes has got to be almost as highly valued as integrity. Lets face it, that's what integrity is, isn't it?

So, what are your views on honesty and integrity? How do you feel when someone is less than honest with you?

To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved. ~ George MacDonald.


  1. I believe my integrity is what I compromise whenever I 'act out'. And when I act out, I am out of esteem -- and that means I'm in big trouble!

    I also believe we struggle as humans to walk the path of truth and light and integrity. we tell ourselves.... just this time I'll..., or I'm too busy, tired, confused...

    It's what makes us so beautiful -- and at tmes so complex.

    Good post. Hugs

  2. integrity is also fondamental to me. nice to hear you taught that principle to your kids. what they do with it is their business though... but they've learned it. remain hopeful!!


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