Sunday, May 20, 2012

Kicking the bucket list to the side?

I need just a few days, or weeks, or months to catch up on everything I want to get done. I have about 30 minutes to write this post before I'm out the door again and this is the first time I've sat today.

Well except at 7am this morning when I read the paper and had my coffee and chased my grandson around between slurps of caffeine and a page turn of the newspaper.

When hubby finishes work at 3 we're off to the beach to take the dog for a nice play with a friends dog, a long run and a swim. Tomorrow she's off to the vet for the girl's equivalent of the big SNIP, so no socialising or walks on the beach for two weeks. She's going to be miserable, but all for the good.

We're out to dinner for MIL's birthday tonight (how can I be enthusiastic about this one) Don't get me wrong, I don't mind dinner with the in-laws but we did it last weekend for mothers day and I thought we could get away with not doing it again this week.

How do you explain to retired people that having to drive 45 minutes to the other side of town on a Sunday night is a pain in the butt. My boys hate late nights on a Sunday and we go to the same pub every time, which is only 5 minutes from my brother-in-laws (who have NO children) The ironic thing is that the parent in-laws also have to go out of their way to drive to the other side of town as well.

Why can't we do it this end of town for goodness sake. Ahhhh breathe and release. Breathe!

So my final piece of wisdom to share with you is something that I read this morning. The article in the paper this morning says to forget your bucket lists and your things-to-do lists because the reality is that people's biggest regrets before they die are the following;
  1. I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard
  3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings
  4. I wish I'd stayed in touch with my friends
  5. I wish I had let myself be happier
It's not about selfishness but about taking responsibility for creating the circumstances of a loving life. How's that for some wisdom to take you into the next week. Hope it inspires you like it did me.

Now I'm off to cavort on the beach with my puppy. Have an awesome week.

Cheers, Fi


  1. I liked that list of wishes; it is something to look at and see about adjustments in one's life. One thing I am working on is not expecting a lot from my son when he is married and has his own family (he's 23, not even dating anyone seriously) but one thing I want to do is not make demands on him or have him to do expectations. Sometimes we don't celebrate holidays on the actual holiday day but we celebrate it on another day and its perfectly fine. Sometimes we just exchange greetings about something and no getting together to celebrate. I don't want him to be obligated. I'm think you feel a bit obligated getting together with your in-laws (by the way, I would feel like that too especially with the long drive, etc.) All we can do is learn and make sure we don't do the same for our kids. (been there with feeling obligated in the past).

    May you have a few minutes to yourself sometime today and great idea to get the dog taken care of! Definitely a very wise idea!


    1. It is the order of things that our children should put their spouse and in time their children before their parents and as parents we should slip into the background of their lives. It's so important to enrich your life at this time with other things, everyone benefits.

  2. Betty - I agree with expectations - I never want my children to feel obligated to come and see me. I want them to just want to see me. My hubby and his brothers all feel obligated which is a bit sad. It's hard being a parent isn't it? My oldest is also 23.

  3. Hi Fiona, Our daughter was testing her Dad on those the same article in the paper. We were at a pub, in the middle! Obligation is an interesting thing and can be a double edged sword. Teaching the kids to have a sense of obligation is important. Otherwise they think they can always do what they want and don't learn to consider others' feelings. That said, they should also be taught to have a voice, negotiate and not feel guilty if having had a try you can't please everyone.
    Some people know how to say no, others need permission.

    1. Candy - was she also explaining number 2 to him? I agree with your comments and sometimes trying to please everyone is just way too exhausting.

  4. I can definitely see how that list would be regrets in life. Hopefully I can learn from the list instead of making those mistakes myself. I often need to find out the hard way, though. I'm really working on just about all of those.


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