Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Happy Blogoversary to you

I was all excited about the link up to celebrate the first Blogoversary of World Mom’s Blog and then I sat down to write my post.

I was stumped about what I actually wanted to write about. What did I have to say about motherhood and culture?

I wanted to write the perfect post which was full of fun and laughter and was wildly popular amongst our readers.

Then I stopped and thought about my last few days and I wondered who I was kidding, because yesterday in terms of motherhood, I cried a lot.

I don’t have a newborn who won’t sleep, I don’t have a baby who cries all the time, I don’t even have a cranky toddler who runs non stop all day and wears me out. What I do have are moody, opinionated, and sometimes obnoxious teenage sons who often don’t agree with our rules and regulations.

The sixteen year old is testing the boundaries (again), he’s fighting for independence, he’s growing and evolving and some days I want to strangle him. Usually on those days I also want to strangle his father, because this is where the butting heads occurs and the drama really happens.

My boy is becoming a man and is doing battle with the father who thinks he knows best and sometimes doesn’t except that the boy is becoming a man. Give me babies and toddlers any day, they’re so much easier to reason with then grown men and adolescent boys.

So the reality is that this post is not going to be all sweetness and light and happy things, because it’s about the reality of being a mother and not a fairytale.

It’s true that with motherhood, some days are sweetness and light and all good things, but there are just as many difficult days where you cry and hang your head in despair as you fight to raise decent, loving and worthwhile human beings. It doesn’t matter whether they’re babies, toddlers or teenagers – being a mother is no easy task.

When he’s with other adults, my middle son is polite, well mannered and always does the right thing. He’s secured a trade apprenticeship through his own hard work, he has an amazing work ethic and makes me proud of what he’s doing with his life. He also has less admirable traits because he is after all a sixteen year old boy who can be extremely stubborn and pig headed. I'm sure that those traits come from his fathers side of the family as well.

I've also discovered what is probably the most difficult part of motherhood. We've raised our children to be strong and confident and happy in their own skin. We've also encouraged them to stand up for their beliefs and to believe in themselves and their own abilities. It stands to reason then that they will also challenge us and question things because of that confidence.

There you have it, my thoughts on culture and motherhood - I've created monsters, admittedly they're confident and outspoken monsters.

Seriously though, World Moms Blog has helped to bridge the divide of nationality and culture and has brought writer moms together from across the world to share stories about motherhood and to help us all realise that it doesn’t matter what country we come from, what language we speak or even what our cultural beliefs are.

The reality is that every child has exactly the same needs, aside from the basics of food and shelter – they need to be loved, to be treated fairly, to be safe, to be educated, and to be free.

We're all mothers, whether biological or not, and I don’t think I’m alone when I say that I wouldn’t change a single day of being a mother because for every day that I cry with frustration, I have another hundred days of gut busting joy and pride.

I’m also immensely proud to be a part of the World Moms Blog and hope that you’ll all go and check out some of the other writer moms here and spread some comment love as we celebrate one full year in the blogosphere. Even better, why not write your own post on motherhood and culture and link it up.

Cheers, Fi

A mother is someone who dreams great dreams for you, but then she lets you chase the dreams you have for yourself and loves you just the same ~ Author Unknown

12 comments:

  1. Visiting from WMB linkup and in same boat: Three strongly independent children, two of whom are preparing to head off to college. It's a good sign, I think, when they show that independence. Let's just call it confidence.

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  2. Happy Blogiversary! Great article - and I thought things would get easier! ;-) I guess every age has it's challenges...

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  3. LOL Fi -- we want our children to grow up strong, independent, self-actualized -- but seriously, can't they wait until they leave home ;)

    Good post!

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  4. So is this what I have to look forward to in 14 years when my son turns 16? :)

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  5. It's like I'm reading my own parents thoughts about me when I was a teenager. lol

    they always say: "Small kids - small problems. Big kids - big problems".
    Knowing mine and my husband's personalities I know we are not going to have an easy parenthood with our kids when they are your kid's age. ugh.
    Can't wait, not.

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  6. Fiona,

    Thank you for the kind words about World Moms Blog!

    I have my days where I just cry, too. Sometimes we think we are alone, but there you have it, here's a mother in Australia having a similar moment.

    Thanks for linking up for our Blogiversary!

    Jen :)

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  7. This is so thoughtful and lovely! And even if they are monsters (Hee!) I love that you take pride in raising thinkers. That's our thread at WMB, isn't it? Thinking with our hearts! Lovely post! :)

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  8. My eldest is so lovely and easy and I am waiting for the other shoe to drop! I mean he's by no means perfect but he totally gets why somethings are ok and others aren't and he's sweet and caring and genuinely feels bad when he has done something wrong and is totally on board with the rules.... i know this is not going to last! My daughter on the other hand doesn't really care what the rules are if she hasn't laid them... so I already have a 5 year old teenager.

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  9. Oh my, thanks for giving me a glimpse of what is waiting for me in 10 years? Yikes! LOL! No but seriously tho' I love this post because it's so honest.Thank you for sharing :)

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  10. Love the honesty of this post! My boy is only 5 months and my memories of my mother raising my brothers serves as a constant reminder to enjoy this time. I am terrified for the teenage years, though it is then when we can really see the payoff for all of our hard work in these first years, right? How wonderful you've raised strong children who aren't afraid to be themselves.

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  11. I thought toddlerhood was the most difficult. But I need to look forward to more difficult times, ahead, huh? ;)

    That was a lovely post!

    Being together at World Moms Blog is great, isnt it?!

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  12. Hi Fi, thanks so much for coming to read my post and the lovely comments and compliments you left.

    Your post reminds me of a quote I first heard when my daughter was little: We spend the first 2 years of our children's live teaching them to walk and talk, and the rest telling them sit down and shut up."

    We want to teach them, help them, show them, but when they take all that and use it for their own ideas, we don't always like it. Oh, the complexities!

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