Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Some days I struggle

Some days have their challenges and despite my usual positive mindset, I'm struggling to remain on top of things and think happy thoughts today.

I woke this morning from a weird dream in which I was running from an out of control truck that had flipped on a bridge and was coming straight for me. My escape was to hang from the side of the bridge. I woke myself up though so have no idea what the outcome was.

The end result was that I woke up too early and felt like I'd been hit by a truck before I even started my day. Slept stupid so have a crink (is that a word?) in my shoulder blade which runs up my neck. I used to blame the water bed, which is obviously not the reason because I'm still getting it. That's why I'm here now, writing about my weird day, getting it out.

Work was a mess of conflicting emotions and lots of stress today. Our project office team is like a dysfunctional family at the moment and has been off and on for a while now. You know the sort of family who you love dearly but who aggravate the hell out of you with their irrational behaviour.

I approached the boss today about it and said we needed a solution and quick because the way I saw it, our group posed the greatest risk to the project at this stage. Our problem, two very strong minded individuals who work in totally opposing ways but neither of whom is wrong. This in turn is affecting the other 6 of us who tiptoe around when the tension is really bad.

We all recognise the problem but no-one knows how to approach the subject or what to say. Yeah well, I'm not known for keeping my mouth shut so I said something - it was either that or one of us was going to do something drastic because the stress was building on all of us.

The sense of relief and gratitude from all involved was reassuring for me that I hadn't overstepped the mark and that hopefully we can find some resolution. We have several ways of fixing the problem so lets hope we achieve some middle ground as a united team in the next few days.

Then there's always one of my boys making me a little uncomfortable or causing me a moment or two of worry to cap off what has been an exhausting day. On another note, I sent the enrolment forms off yesterday for youngest to attend the private school with fees which will suck up a small fortune if he gets in.

It's now a waiting game and I'm trying to project my positive energy out to the universe for his sake. I'm just finding it a little hard today with everything else clammering for my attention. The letter of recommendation he got from his teacher though is absolutely amazing and makes a mothers heart proud.

A wise person said to me today that we need to remember not to sweat the small stuff. Good advice that I should abide by and here's something that always puts a smile on my face and reminds me what life is all about - a pic of my gorgeous grandson (am I un-fired now Jenn?) He was laughing out loud at my youngest the night of my birthday dinner.

Cheers, Fi

Here's synchronicity for you: I wrote the words of the song 'I am Woman, I am strong, I am Invincible' on a post several days ago and there's a story on the news tomorrow night about the singer of that song Helen Reddy, so I'm hearing that song during nearly every ad break tonight on TV. A message in that for me perhaps?????

Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. ~ Benjamin Franklin


  1. It is a message to you Fi! I am woman, I am strong -- which means, I get to bend like a willow in the breeze -- not stand rigid like an oak.

    And good for you for having the courage to speak up! You rock -- and you will create the 'more' of what everyone needs on the team -- a united voice.

    Good for you!

    Blessings on this day.

    PS -- when awoken from a dream and don't know the ending, imagine the ending you want -- go back to sleep and let it be so. :)

  2. So you had insomnia too. Ok, you are rehired. Your grandson, he is so cute. Put a big smile on my blurry eyed face. I just want to pinch is puffy little cheeks, ok maybe just stroke them not pinch. Man, I hate insomnia, it is going to be a long day and lots to do before holiday. I think it is a sign, that song and you writing about it. Stay strong and stick to your convictions. The world needs more people like you. Sometimes you just have to rock the boat for people to stand up and notice. I happen to be a boat rocker. LOL. Crossing my fingers and toes and eyes for your son to get into private school. I know alot of funds but in the end it will all be worth it. Remember every day is a new day so take a deep breath, tomorrow will be better. Does your aunt still live in Portland?

  3. I hope the stress smooths out. We end up carrying so much of it don't we? But like Louise said, it's because we tend to bend and not snap.

  4. Ohh and I forgot, the cat, she is fixed so not in heat. I think she was hungry too. Her food bowl was empty.


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