Saturday, March 12, 2011

Respect yourself

Yesterday I mentioned about my boss being awesome and one of my friends commented that we should appreciate bosses who are like this because they’re few and far between. I’ve had two bosses in recent years that have come from opposite ends of the good / bad range which means that I can truly identify with this.

The ‘boss from hell’ was opportunistic, narcissistic and totally unreliable. She managed to turn a job that I thoroughly enjoyed into a nightmare that I thought I would never escape from.

The ‘heaven sent boss’ who I’ve moved companies with; is understanding, reliable and someone who I consider a mentor that I can learn a great deal from. He’s not always right and he’s not perfect but he’s also not afraid to admit when he’s got something wrong

I believe the difference comes down to one simple word. Respect.

The dictionary definition of respect is: the esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability

I had absolutely no respect for the ‘boss from hell’ because her behaviour and conduct were unprofessional and reflected not only on our department but on the whole company.

I respect the ‘heaven sent boss’ because he values others opinions, conducts himself respectfully and gives everyone an opportunity to prove their worth. He tells a person when they’ve done a good job and is not afraid to tell them when they need to improve their performance but still does so in a way that encourages and doesn’t demean.

Recently I’ve had several conversations with friends regarding respect and why so many kids today don’t understand what respect is, whether it’s respect for themselves or towards others.

Think of these issues which indicate a lack of respect;

Graffitti – is a lack of respect for property
Theft – is a lack of respect for others personal property
Land degradation – is a lack of respect for the environment
Poor treatment of police – is a lack of respect for authority
Rude treatment of foreigners – is a lack of respect for different cultures
Domestic violence – is a lack of respect for women
Suicide – is a lack of respect for self
Anti social behaviour – is a lack of respect for community standards

No matter where we go in life or what we do, everything is based on our own beliefs and our own understanding of right and wrong. It is through this they we learn to respect others and in turn respect ourselves.

Do the people you respect work tirelessly, are they honest, are they loyal to their friends, do they value others opinions, do they help others less fortunate, are they inspiring? We generally respect those who have similar beliefs and values to our own, they’re the people we aspire to be like.

So, who do you respect and why?

Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different ~ Stacey Charter


  1. Interesting and thought-provoking thoughts. I have a belief that how I treat people is a reflection of me -- I TREAT everyone WITH respect -- because that is a refleciton of how I want to be in the world, of who I am -- it does not mean I have to respect them or their behaviour.

    Thanks Fi for this -- great thinking!

  2. Louise I agree, I think it all comes back to that saying 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.

    You treat everyone with respect because that's who you are, it comes from your beliefs and values - and it is so true that you don't have to actually respect someone or their behaviour to show them respect.

    I love that sometimes you make me read back through what I've written to ensure I've 'gifted' the right message.



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