Calibrating my thoughts

Every morning I have a routine, I drive the almost hour long drive to work and then I sit in my car in the car park and I write two pages of free writing, it's something I've been doing for a couple of months now.

I don't enter the building where there are distractions and I don't do it before I leave home because then all I'm thinking of is the traffic and getting to work on time. The car park is best for me. I'm sure people wonder what I'm doing, sitting in my car every morning.

Morning pages are meant to assist with clearing your mind, settling the chatter in your head and freeing up your thinking. It works - well it does for me at least.

Yesterday I forgot my journal.

It kind of threw my whole day into chaos, that and the fact that my eyes have been so sore and bothering me so much. I never realised how disgusting irritated eyes can make you feel. I was just miserable - a friend suggested garlic and horseradish tablets - I'm thinking I need something more than what I've been taking.

I gave in today and worked from home so I could leave my makeup off and my contact lenses out. It was a spectacular 'hayfever' day, hot with strong winds. Sadly it's also bushfire weather and as I write this post there's an out of control fire burning on the west coast of South Australia.

Morning showers forecast to arrive at midnight - bring 'em on.

Have you noticed how quickly your goals and dreams slip down the importance list when life happens and when you not feeling well gets in the way? I haven't been writing much lately, I haven't even been reading or commenting much either. I've been super busy and life gets like that. I occasionally need to readjust my thinking, or calibrate my thinking as my boss would say.

Here's some snippets of inspiration which I've discovered or been sent recently which have assisted the calibration process;

• Fifty things to love about life which are free
• I love these paintings by Flora Bowley
• Michael Hyatt reminds me why it's important to live your dream even when it scares you to death.
• 56 Quotes to inspire you and me
• A blog post which was sent to me by a friend with this beautiful paragraph "Creating is not a quick act. It is not a solo act. It is not a soulless act of productivity. It is about  nourishing the soul and about reaching your full height as a person. It should take all the time you have in your life and all the influences you encounter. It is about growing." you can find the post here.

Life is just a never ending re-calibration process, or a re-inspiration process.

As I post this, the rain has started to fall and the thunder is booming - love summer storms

Red sky in the morning...

This morning at 5.45am the sky was a blaze of brilliant red colour. My mother used to tell me as a child that red sky at night meant shepherds delight; and red sky in the morning was shepherds warning. It's strange the things that stay with us from our childhood.

I knew today was going to be a tough day, the red sky only confirmed it for me.

So what if the red sky is meant to relate more to the weather than life in general, it can be anything I want it to be.

I've lived through four company restructures now, working in Human Resource and Change roles, it's kind of unavoidable. I've known the people who were going, cared about many of them and even cried with several of them.

At my previous workplace even my position was made redundant and yet I had choice. My boss had already left and I was fortunate to transfer to the parent company with him. I also finalised others redundancy contracts before I left and basically 'turned' off the lights as I left in a manner of speaking.

Mine wasn't true redundancy in the real meaning of the word. Not gut clenching, knock down shock that your job and your daily routine has been turned on its ear. Now just more than two years later we find ourselves amidst the drama again.

I hate business restructures, there's not one nice thing about them. That's all I need to say on the subject, just so you understand why today was a red sky morning. That and the fact that today is my last day of being 40.

Tomorrow I turn 41 years old. I've always dreaded my birthdays, I'm not sure why either. It's a day just to be rushed through and be done with. Hubby is frustrated because I can not come up with one single thing that I want for my birthday - not one.

That's not me being coy or playing games either. I simply don't want or need anything, other than perhaps a trip to Thailand, but that's probably a little bit over the birthday spend budget and not feasible in the foreseeable future.

I have decided I will get a tattoo on my foot, after months of dithering and talking about it, but everything I've read and heard tells me this is painful and not conducive with wearing high heels for work. So I will wait for my holidays to do that when I can slop around with bare feet for a few days..

Hayfever is killing me at the moment, I haven't had it quite so bad for years, but this year is exceptionally horrendous. I feel like scratching my eyes out of my head at the moment.

Ahhh the magnificent joys of old age, you become easily redundant and you sniff and snort a lot. I'm sure it can only get better, as long as I don't lose my sense of humour I'll be fine. Have a good week all.

Paying it forward...because we can

Do you remember years ago there was a movie based on a story about a little boy who wanted to pay it forward, that is he wanted to do a good deed for someone else and then pay it forward to another. It's now a well known saying and there's even a Pay it Forward Day.

I heard those words recently when a friend spoke about her fathers death, she said the one thing she wanted others to do was to make a point of catching up with just one person they hadn't seen for a while because they had been too busy.

She wanted others to keep paying it forward and take time out of their busy days to catch up with just one person who mattered in their lives. She's been experiencing first hand the despair from loved ones who didn't take the time to catch up with her father and are now saddened that they didn't do it sooner.

As we walk down this path of life, we meet people who change our lives or we hear about those who make a difference in the lives of others. Here's a couple of stories to remind us how simply amazing some people can be even when served up with 'life's shitty moments'.

They're able to pay the goodness forward through their own generosity or desire to make a difference.


The shirt off your back (or the shoes off your feet) - Jodi Lobozzo Aman shares this story.

Jasmine- my mum sent me this story via an email which is doing the rounds. I've provided the link to the web page (be sure and watch the video)

At a bus stop with popcorn - from the Help Others website

So to all of you, as a favour to my friend (and to me) - why not pay it forward and catch up with just one person who you've been meaning to catch up with, but be sure and do it this week. Or alternatively, share a little bit of generosity with another just because you can and for no return whatsoever.

Feel free to come back and share your pay if forward moment with me.

6WS - Lessons that I learnt this week

Someone famous made the quote that the day you stop learning is the day you stop living - or some such similar quote. If they didn't then they should have and if that's the case - then this is my quote and when I'm famous you can quote me.

This week has been a week of learning (not unlike any other) but with some fairly important realisations;

1. A big mouth will eventually bite you on the bum and cause you trouble (amazingly it wasn't my big mouth which caused the trouble)
2. Company restructuring is one of the biggest and most unsettling changes for any employee and I hate it, more so when you're watching people's reactions and their pain and the knowledge that you knew what was coming and couldn't ease that pain.
3. Adult children still need a good, swift kick in the pants and a telling off. It would be so much easier if you could send them to their rooms and ban them from going out. Or slap them on the bum and tell them they've upset you.
4. Some days if I didn't laugh I'd cry - frustration makes me cry more than sadness does.
5. My forty-first birthday is looming on the near horizon and I feel older than Moses some days.
6. My dog is more intelligent than me, or so I'm told. She passed her obedience training this week and graduated into grade 3, despite the trainer telling me that I have two left feet and it's lucky that I have such a smart dog who allows for my confusion and lack of coordination. Good thing I never planned to be a world class dancer isn't it?
7. We only ever try to help because we care.
8. The smallest things in life are free, my grandson's giggles and cuddles are one of the greatest joys in my world.
9. Attitude is everything, try being around someone miserable and angry and not start feeling some of that yourself.
10. Despite your best intentions and the best laid plans - sometimes shit just happens.
11. New bosses with quirky senses of humour can keep you on your toes. 
12. You have to just keep, keeping on and if your path alters, than it's your attitude which will determine your success. Now that is in fact my own quote so you can quote me on that one when I'm famous.

My life long dream was to write a romance novel before my 40th birthday (which I did last year - 6 months before that birthday) I published the novel in September this year through Kindle. Life is infinitely more satisfying (amidst the drama and shit) when you have meaningful goals, so now I just need a new 'BIG' one to aim for.

 So, what have you learnt this week?

I'm linking up with Cate who gives us all a place to visit and connect. Want to play along with Six Word Saturday, its easy? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing.

Mind over money

I didn't win the sweep in the Melbourne Cup today (only Australia's biggest horse race which reportedly stops the nation). I also didn't win the $100 million X lotto draw that was on tonight (the biggest in Australian history)

But life is still good - would anyone really want to win $100 million? I'm sure life would change too much, no matter how much you could say it wouldn't. Surely health and happiness are the best kinds of wealth.

Okay so this quote did make me laugh though "Money can't buy happiness. But somehow it's much more comfortable to cry in a Lamborghini than on a bicycle". Reminds me of the other day when one of my husbands drunken cousins bemoaned the fact that he had to wind the window up manually on my sister-in-laws car rather than being able to push an electric button. If that's the biggest pain in life, than life must be pretty good.

That's not saying that I would turn my nose up at a few extra dollars so that I could take off on my travels around the world and write my books. But gazillions of dollars would make me fearful of taking my grandson to the shops for fear someone would steal him - that's not living in my opinion.

How many people do you think enter big lottery draws and deep down they hope that they don't win the big one? I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way, or am I? Ironically I wrote an affirmation in my journal this morning from an e-book I'm reading, it was - I attract all kinds of prosperity in expected and unexpected ways. I have more money than I will ever need.

I guess there's many more things that have a greater priority in my life than cold, hard cash. I'm focused on finding a job that I enjoy and which challenges me, writing more books, having my good friends and family around me, experiencing fun times and feeling like I make a difference. If you do the things you love then surely the rest will fall into place?

Here's a website I found tonight which was jam packed with ideas for anyone who wants to quit their job and take off around the world (yeah that's in my other life - the one where my children have grown up and are self supporting) The free e-book also has some good stuff in it.

So which end of the scale is your dream life in terms of the cost involved, massive or miniscule? Mine is probably moderate - but I guess the amount required is measured by everyone's different views. My moderate might be considerable for some, but miniscule for others. Yeah forget that question.

As I get ready to publish this post the news is reporting that there are 4 X lotto winners who will each win $28million. Better them than me though, because who really needs that much money?

6WS - It's not just beginnings and endings...

it's also about everything in between....

What a week, a week with too many endings. I attended two funerals this week, both at extreme ends of the scale in terms of how they were conducted, but both equally moving.

I don't want to dwell on the sadness of these events because all funerals have an element of sadness about them, but here's what I took from each of them.

The first on Wednesday was for a good friends father, who passed suddenly and left behind a devastated daughter and granddaughter and many others who loved him. He simply went too soon. I envied the relationship that my friend had with her father, not because I don't have a good relationship with my father but because he was indeed her best friend in the whole world.

This was evident at his service, as was the celebration of the life of this amazing man. His daughter read this poem called 'The Dash' by Linda Ellis, I'd never heard it before but it hit home, because it's not about where we started or where we end but how we live the in between. To understand what I'm talking about, you really have to go and read it.

This was a funeral of music attesting to the love of music of this man and also of laughs  and images as his loved ones shared their treasured memories. It was short and full of love and emotion.

The funeral that I attended yesterday was for my husband's grandmother. To say I was unprepared would be an understatement. It was a deeply religious Russian Orthodox funeral (not that any of the younger family members are overly religious either)

It was an hour long service which was sung almost entirely in Russian and we stood for the whole service. Not being a big attendee of church, funerals, nor religious ceremonies I actually was like a sponge soaking up the atmosphere and sharing the grief of those who loved this woman.

I've said it often enough that I am not religious but there was something totally transfixing about this service, from the candles we all held, to the melodic sound of the words sung in Russian, to the swirling ball with incense and the total ritual of it all. I do admit that I was unprepared for the formality or for the open casket.

Never have hubby and I spoken so openly about the how's and when's of death, yet we did on our way to the burial. We spoke about what we both wanted when we leave this earth, which is a conversation I think that only comes about in these circumstances.

I do know that both of these services were equally beautiful and it made me view death as a time to celebrate and remember those that we love and cherish. Spending the afternoon with my husbands many male family members and hearing the antics that they got up to at their grandmothers house as children gave me a whole new view of his family.

His grandmother left behind 7 grandsons and 1 grand daughter, 8 great grandsons and three great great grandsons. That's a whole lot of boys in this family and equally as mischievous as each other. I now better understand the bloodlines that my boys share and the legacy that this lovely woman has left behind.

To my friend Kristie, I can't begin to share your grief but please know that my heart is with you and your loved ones. To my husband's family - wow what an amazing group you all are.

So my final question and the biggest thing I took from this week would have to be this - how are you living your dash?

I'm linking up with Cate who gives us all a place to visit and connect. Want to play along with Six Word Saturday, its easy? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing.

Practice makes perfect

Drum roll please....you'll notice over in the side bar of my blog there is now a link to my new writer website. Pause for breath here as I begin the next stage of my writing journey.

So of course I'm asking for your opinions. All comments are gladly received (please be gentle though) - what am I missing or what can I improve on? If you had a need for writing or design services would this website be enough for you to want to hire me.

I amaze myself with how far I've come in just 2 short years. In that time I've started this blog, written my first book and created some amazing work. Plus the ideas just keep coming. This is a true indication that if you want to be a writer then you have to just write and the more you write, the better you get. Much like anything, if you want it bad enough and you practice often enough then you can succeed.

It also helps when you have an spectacular support network who push you and encourage you and believe in you. My family and friends are the best there is.

I've mentioned often enough that I still need to work on promoting myself. Putting my work out there makes me step out of my comfort zone. But I write for others to read, I create for others to enjoy - I certainly don't do it for it to sit on my hard drive and gather dust. So stepping out of my comfort zone is essential to move forward.

What have you tried that has worked in selling your work or your ideas? What's the best advice that you've received which has assisted in helping you grow and improve?

Freedom of Speech

I'm all for freedom of speech as long as you're not being rude, abusive or bullying someone. That said and I inadvertently offended someone online the other day, which was never my intention and yet I can't explain nor can I apologise. Their loss though.

I joined a writers group on LinkedIn after some searching for the right group. I was a little dismayed once I was accepted, to read the group leaders' comment that anyone who hadn't commented within a two month period would be automatically removed from the group. Quite simply she didn't want lurkers within the group.

I find it strange because some of the greatest benefit I receive is from lurking I do around other people's blogs or LinkedIn groups. Some I comment on, some I buy their books, some I learn from what they post. Is lurking that wrong? I'm sure I have lurkers who visit here fairly regularly but who never comment. I don't have a problem with that.
  
Fair call though I guess, it's her group, her decision - I just didn't like the idea myself and said as much - politely and nicely as numerous other people on the site had. Two days as a member and suddenly I'm removed, what - for daring to voice my opinion in a nice, polite way?

I could have been abusive, I could have been rude and obnoxious. I wasn't. I was also not given an opportunity to explain or to 'chat' to the owner about my comments or her reasoning. That bugged me, but you know what - if I can't speak openly and honestly and voice my opinions then you're obviously not a group that I want to be a part of.

Being new to a blog or even a writers group can be quite daunting and I usually won't jump in and comment straight away - nor do I want to be forced to make inane comments just so I won't be removed.

Any of the blogs on my sidebar are ones I visit regularly, I may not comment on them all but they are in that list because I gain value from them in some way. 

I think I've found another group on LinkedIn+, I'll see how that pans out. I do know that I'll probably be a little bit more circumspect about comments I leave for a while.

So are you lurker or commenter? I guess if you're a lurker though then you won't be responding will you? Let it be known that lurkers and commenters are welcome here in equal measure, just be nice and respectful is all I ask.