I'm not sure if doing dumb things with little thought for anyone other than yourself and adding in a very small margin for error is a factor of youth and spontaneity or is it just plain stupid. I'm struggling to remember my early adult years and whether I did similar dumb things.
No, probably not, because my dumb moment was having a son at 17 (hmmm that would be the son now in his early adult years), so my early adult years were about being a little bit more responsible and forward thinking.
Middle son and hubby spend most of every day arguing about who is right or wrong - it would be amusing how similar they both are if it wasn't actually painful to be a part of. I'm the sounding board and believe me I'm pretty much over that.
Today they have managed to not yell at each other and spend several hours in the same space. I'm sure someone has swapped them with new and improved models, or they may be coming down with an illness because this is very outside their normal behaviour.
Youngest, well gotta love him - he never causes a moment of grief. I'm sure they must have switched him at birth and given me someone elses pleasant, non boat rocking child.
I read today that karma and the things that happen in our lives is in fact mistakes made in a former life and lessons not learnt. I surmise from that, that my enabling appalling behaviour and tolerating dumb decisions from others is my lesson to learn and that I need to change me so that I don't keep reliving this crap!
Do you enable bad behaviour in others in the way that they treat you and what's the best advice you can offer to remedy this (other than sailing off into the sunset on my own?)
On a positive note, yes because there's always a flip side to shitty moments, the sun shone brightly today, spring has arrived and there's butterflies everywhere. Roll on summer.
Hope you had a sensational weekend and here's to me kicking this dumb cough which is the remnants of a bad case of the flu. See what happens when you give up sugar and eat healthy? Admittedly I'm down a few kilos without any effort whatsoever, so all good.
Cheers, Fi
Hubby needs to be the grown up and back down. The world will soon teach middle son that he won't always be right. They are both enjoying the argument and won't realise the affect it has on those around them. (ie you)
ReplyDeleteTell them they can have their 'discussions' when you are out of the house!
It's not until later they might realise how much time and energy 'debating' an issue takes up. They are just not BUSY enough. More chores for both .....
I am very close with my parents - my dad and I used to argue all the time. In a friendly way but I would end up in tears of frustration. It made me a very strong person and a good advocate. However as an adult I know he was young and I also am more aware of how my mother and sister were more sensitive. All extroverts we never had any communication difficulties - but nor did we know any different way. It was only for the few teen years when a child asserts their opinion and independence. Now we all just laugh - and you learn to respect the differences in opinion and that being right is not the be all and end all.
Karma. Cracks me up. Always telling my kids even the little ones...Karma, karma is going to come back to bite you. What goes around always comes around so they will get their time. Although I am not much of an enabler, put the stop to that quite a long time ago since I saw it too much growing up....but on the flip side I do always tell my older kids especially my daughter and now that I think about it have said to my husband...YOU are in control of how others treat you. I say even though cant hop on a plane or a boat, simply remove yourself from the situation when they start battleing and dont become their sounding board. Or wait here is another idea...if they are going to act like children then treat them like children....when they start arguing, make them sit down on the couch real close to one another and have to hug or something until the apologize to one another...lol (that would require you to be present though and essentially be the enforcer which probably isnt the best idea...ok scratch that). Go with the first one, just go to your happy place, even if that is just to take a bath, sit in your car, read, take a drive....Hope you are feeling better....see what you went and did, you got and get "healthy" and shock your body and get sick. LOL.
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