Customer service in the toilet!

The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.~ Moliere ~

To say I am frustrated with the current level of customer service being provided by my telecommunications provider would be an understatement. I truly believe that every employee who failed 'customer service school' is now employed by this company. I'm also not talking about a smaller provider, I am talking about the biggest telco in Australia.

The first indication of a problem occurred several months ago when we began to experience problems with our home phone line. The phone had crackling on the line and to start with was not too bad just rather annoying. Hubby and I use our mobile phones primarily so we lived with the crackling line for a while. A time came when we realised that our internet usage was also going over our plan (the plan was also tied in with the home phone as a package)

So we did some research with the hope of moving our home phone and internet service to the same provider as our mobile phones (we also have our childrens mobile phones on this plan and have never had an ounce of trouble from this telco) No such luck, they don't service our area. So hubby contacted the home phone and intenet provider to organise an unlimited internet plan and also to arrange for the home line to be checked.

When you tally up the time, my hubby probably spent several hours in total on the phone to organise this which was painful but necessary. Never the less we got a better plan, a T box which allows us to view internet movies through our TV and we also got the phone fixed. No worries - all good. Several weeks later and the crackling was back in the phone and much worse. Another series of phone calls was necessary and this is where the frustration really started.

On two more separate occasions the phone was supposedly fixed but then we started to experience problems with not being able to access the internet or having it repeatedly drop out and then last week we lost our dial tone on the phone all together. Another call to them and so began the process of speaking to at least 3 -4 different people in one call, none of who could speak proper english or understand what we were saying and no-one who could fix the problem.

We are on our third case number this week alone because they say the problem is fixed and it works, so they close the fault record. Then within 24 hours the dial tone on the phone has gone again or the crackling is back. So then its more calls and another case number. Why the hell can't they send a bloody technician out to look at it? We've had our own technician check the house side but he's not allowed to go near their exchange. If I could reach down the phone and strangle one of them I would.

I have decided there are obviously several key characteristics necessary to work for these bunch of incompetent idiots.

1) english must not be your first language
2) you must stick to your written scripted answers, you are not allowed to think for yourself or actually answer any questions that the customer asks
3) you must apologise repeatedly but then transfer the call to another incompetent person
4) you have to ask the same question a minimum of two times (more is better), even when the customer answers the first time you ask it
5) you must frustrate the customer so much that they are swearing by the time they hang up
6) you must under no circumstances help the customer with any fault they're experiencing

My next step is the telecommunications ombudsman because I am ready to rip strips off someone otherwise. It would be so simple if I could just tell them to stuff their plan up their butts and then change my provider but this is not an option because they have all the coverage tied up in our area and other providers don't have the capability to service us. So frustrating.

How 'bout you, have you had to deal with a dropout from the school of 'customer service'?

Cheers for now, Fi