Friday, February 18, 2011

Attempting to keep the faith

Boredom is like a pitiless zooming in on the epidermis of time. Every instant is dilated and magnified like the pores of the face. ~ Charlotte Whitton

What do you do when you’re stuck in a moral dilemma?

What is my moral dilemma, going to work and getting paid to do very little. The whole situation is depressing beyond belief and goes against everything I believe in. I am not, and have never been, a person who likes standing still or slacking off.

How is it possible to go from flat out 10 – 12 hour days and huge amounts of stress in my former job (at the subsidiary company) to an hour of daily tasks stretched out into a 7.5 hour day where the only stress is trying not to go to sleep at my desk? It has gone from one bizarre extreme to the other.

I write about living life and not simply existing and at the moment I am forced to exist in a job that does not excite or motivate me in any way, shape or form. There’s now talk that the project won’t get approval till at least the end of March – if at all. The timeline just keeps moving further and further out.

I am 5 months away from 10 years service with the company I work for and receiving my Long Service Leave entitlement (the equivalent of 13 weeks pay). The problem is that I am slowly going crazy with boredom and having to spend every day looking busy.

My boss is aware that I have very little to do and is in much the same situation. If and it’s a big if, the project gets approval then the amount of knowledge I can gain from the process will be huge and will expand my professional standing threefold. It will also guarantee me employment for the next four years. However, I feel like my skills are wasting away and I am stagnating from the lack of momentum at the moment.

Today I have updated my resume, yet I know that I would be silly to make any rash decisions because if the project doesn’t get approval and my position is made redundant then I would be entitled to a considerable sum of money. (So while money isn’t everything, it would definitely make our lives a heck of a lot easier)

I am currently exploring freelance writing options and I’m also keeping busy with my novel that I am writing. I have also been investigating study options to keep the grey matter from freezing due to lack of use. May as well take advantage of the down time to increase my skills and be ready to either move on to greener pastures or hit the ground running when the project gets approval.

That said, it is still very difficult to remain positive and upbeat when circumstances are somewhat beyond my control. That’s life in a nutshell though isn’t it, where sometimes we don’t have control over outside influences and we must make the best of the situation that we are in.

At the moment it is raining and has been raining non-stop all day - non bad for the middle of summer. The weather report indicates that today's rainfall in Adelaide will be the highest rainfall in February for almost 40 years. Some parts of South Australia have experienced the equivalent of the Australian Capital, Victoria and South Australia's combined yearly rainfall in a 24 hour period.

All of Australia's weather patterns have gone absolutely crazy in the last month or two, with flooding and cyclones across the whole country - it's summer for crying out loud. We've experienced years and years of drought and water restrictions and now we're being inundated from one end of the country to the other. Is there no happy medium?

Well hubby is at a work show tonight so a perfect opportunity to get some quality writing time in. Cheers for now, Fi.

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