The 'worry' gene

I have coughed for the last three weeks, I am completely over having to cough. First a virus and then the flu, arrggghhh spare me the coughing. Nothing seems to work.

All I want is a decent nights sleep, lying flat without waking up on the hour, every hour because I'm coughing so much. I've been sleeping mostly sitting up for days, weeks even.

So my whinge out of the way and onto more exciting things. I'm off to Melbourne tomorrow for training, now that's more my kind of thing. I'm doing a three day training course for e-learning software, which will then enable us to create some of our training programs online. I also start a Train the Trainer course in September so lots of new and exciting things to learn.

I need to focus on getting myself healthy again and regaining my energy, so I can get all of this training done and keep up with my normal stuff. Not sure what has happened this year, for someone who doesn't normally get sick, this year has been a doozy. I'm also back in school next weekend after a month off. Just as well I did take a break it would seem.

I'm dithering over a decision at the moment, which should be easy to make. I've got my application all filled out for an opening which has come up and is something which I've thought about doing and the truth be known it's almost like I decided I wanted to do something like this and then suddenly in the mail comes this opportunity.

Now my dithering comes from debating whether I really have the time to spare because it requires a fairly considerable time and energy commitment. Plus I'm not sure if I'm dithering because I doubt myself or it's actually because of the commitment required, and there's nothing to say that I will be accepted anyway.

Is this a case of over thinking something too much - yeah just a bit.

So all of my over-thinking aside, I will do what I would advise anyone else to do and that is to put in my application and let the Universe do the rest. What will be, will be. It's on my bucket list of things to do in this lifetime and if now is the time then I will be accepted, and if it's not then another opportunity will come up when the time is right.

If only all decisions were so easy.

My youngest, who only got his car license a month ago, took his dad's boat out today for the first time. Out to sea that is. I thought I was nervous when he got on a motorbike 12 months ago, even a little nervous when he started driving solo a month ago, but the boat out at sea - big sigh.

He's just come home, in one piece, with the car and boat also in one piece. Some days I think I just have to learn to trust and believe in them more. Don't get me wrong I do, but that 'worry gene' which all mum's have from the birth of their first born, well I think it just grows in size the older and more independent your babies get.

His dad and him, they just look at me like I have no idea and wonder why I worry so much. It brings to mind that song from a hundred years ago you know the one 'It's my party and I'll cry if I want to' only in this case my song is renamed 'It's my baby and I'll worry if I want to'

Being a mother is damn tiring with all of this worrying business that you have to do.

Okay, its time to go get my gear organised for tomorrow before oldest son, his fiance and my grandson get here for dinner. Have a super week where ever you are and what ever you're doing.

Cheers, Fi