Sunday, May 25, 2014

Devil on my shoulder

The distance between the metaphoric A and B is often a very long arduous journey. The A point being when hubby tells me that something I'm doing is wrong and the B point being me accepting that he might be right. It happens on rare occasions - that he's right that is.

Along that journey there are many occasions when again, metaphorically speaking, that I want to stab him. I don't of course, only in my head - because that sentence would be too much on top of the marriage sentence I'm already serving.

We've been together 20 years and lets face it, yes he's a clever man, who's heart is always in the right place - however his ability to communicate his knowledge combined with my pigheadedness often results in interesting battles.

Today we battled about my grandsons car seat and a twisted seat belt - consequently the five minute job took three times as long because we had to yell a lot at each other first. I love that man but sometimes he just drives me totally crazy.

...and my overburdened feeling at the moment has no bearing whatsoever.

I've been in one of my funks the last few days - it happens, I'm human. I get frustrated that things don't happen quicker. I get annoyed when reality proves I'm not as clever as I thought I was - I got the high distinction for my first subject essay and then barely a pass for the exam - not happy. I still ended up with a credit mark overall but this stuff annoys me, proves I'm not perfect too.

The coming week is going to be hellish in terms of how much I have to do and I've allowed a few of those little doubts to sneak in which make me question whether I can do it all.

This week I have a Women in Leadership training course, a dentist appointment to pull a tooth out (and let me tell you that dental work rates up there with giving birth on the pain ratio for me), I have my second subject exam on Thursday night - that's 3 1/2 hours worth of essay writing (which I obviously sucked at last time), plus a change review starting this week at work which means 18 staff interviews to fit into my normal workload as well.

Then the Global Corporate Challenge also starts this week which requires me fitting in 10,000 steps every day - plus at the end of my week I have a full weekend which has me in school for the beginning of my third subject.

So yes that little devil sitting on my shoulder whispering sweet nothings in my ear and questioning my ability to do it all - well I have to smack him off my shoulder occasionally and remind myself that I can do it and that I have to take one day at a time.

Most weeks aren't this crazy...

Today I have done no housework, no study, no anything which required any effort - well other than fitting a car seat in the car and having a vibrant discussion about how to untwist the seat belt.

I am strong, I am powerful and I can do all that I need to this week and keep my sanity as well. If I say it often enough then maybe I'll start believing it.

Hope your week is a little calmer than mine looks like being.

Cheers, Fi


  1. I can definitely relate. I am at the end of a week that sounds like your busy one. You can do it! There is a saying that goes something like, "It is the moments we DON'T have time to relax that we MUST take time to relax." It makes total sense. Make sure you take a few minutes each day for some deep breathing and meditation on the things that are going well. At the end of the week you will be amazed how proud you are of yourself!

  2. Hope you enjoy your break and yes I definitely need to practice deep breathing and meditation


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