Be careful what you wish for...

You'll have to keep up tonight because there's lots of things I want to talk about and none of them go together, so a bit of a mish mash post coming up. No apologies for that either.

I have my 'happier' pants on tonight. I was a bit of a misery guts last time I was here, but hey that's life for you. My day is always off to a good start when the boss takes the entire 33 strong project team out for a breakfast meeting.

Good food, even better service, this was one hotel manager who knew when he was on a winner, we'll go back - often, because of the impeccable service today.

Thank you Jenn for pointing out one of my many failings - yes I haven't updated my 101 in1001 list recently - it's on my list of things to do this weekend hopefully. Just not enough hours in my days.

Jenn from I am not Superwoman and I trade comments quite regularly these days, we seem to have many synchronicities (one of my favourite words) in our lives. The latest ones being she's just gotten a new kitten and named it Bella, my cat is strangely enough - named Bella.

Jenn also asked a question about my tattoo, which was my gift to myself on my 35th birthday and ironically I was going to post about tattoos this week. The reason being, eldest MM got his first tattoo on Sunday night. His son's name and birthdate on his chest. It made me think of mine, which is a sun on my lower back with my sons names spiralling out from it. Chosen because I'm a sunlover and my boys light up my life. Here it is........

Now the other thing that I wanted to finish this post with, is my gift wish list for Christmas - now before I get the comments about Christmas being over commercialised and not being about gift giving, let me point out that hubby and I don't buy each other gifts. This is purely my 'wish' list. Here goes:

Gift 1 - A chocolate labrador puppy, I've wanted another dog for so long. Probably not fair
though with the number of hours I work and hubby says no more pets for now.

Gift 2 - A holiday to Thailand - not that you haven't heard me say this one before

Gift 3 - My dream car, it has to be a bug and has to be yellow. Not too practical with family and grandson and not very high on 'mechanic' hubby's list of reliable and easy to fix cars.

A writers studio in the backyard which looks like this - which I'm sure would guarantee a best seller or two

  

Eternal good health and happiness for all my family and friends

There you go, that's my ultimate 'wish' list for Christmas - so what does your list have on it?

When it all comes down to it, I'll settle for peace, happiness and good times with friends and family for my ultimate Christmas wish.

Cheers, Fi

The love of a family is life's greatest blessing

I want to be good, really I do

Three weeks till we shut down the project for Christmas break - it just can't come quick enough. I really need a holiday.

My side of the family is in Renmark and hubby is working Christmas day so I'm struggling to raise any enthusiasm for Christmas this year.

My in-laws have never really done Christmas at their place, choosing to either come to our place or to one of their boys. My brother-in-law has invited us for Christmas lunch and I appreciate the invite, but no kids there either.

I used to start preparing for Christmas shopping in July every year, not so any more. Teenagers are so much harder to shop for than toddlers and presents cost ten times as much for them. Half of the excitement of Christmas used to be putting up the tree and wrapping presents. I used to buy lots of smaller presents and fill their stockings full of fun things and good stuff to eat.

We also used to drive around the nights before Christmas looking at Christmas lights and the boys would anticipate Christmas morning for weeks. Now it's a day to sleep in for them and it's lost much of it's anticipation and joy for me.

Sure I have my grandson, but this year he's a little bit young to enjoy the day or the lead up to it. Daughter-in-law has lots of nephews on her side, so while I know we'll see them for Christmas, I'm sure much of their day will be spent with her family. I look forward to next year when he'll know what Christmas is about and he'll be excited. I think little kids are what put the fun and excitement into Christmas.

Oh my goodness, I sound like a tragic old scrooge don't I? I'm sure this is just an indication of how much I need a break and some 'me' time so I can re-discover my anticipation of Christmas.
Middle son needs to get his night driving hours up before he can get his license in January so maybe I'll make him drive me around to look at Christmas lights.

I received notification on Friday from the private school that I enrolled youngest in, that at this stage they have no vacancies for 2012 for his year level, so he's now on a waiting list. So maybe I wasn't doing enough positive thinking on this one?

Last night we went to a 40th birthday party for a friend, a friend who is one of the most down to earth and decent human beings I've ever met. He and his family live a very different life than us. It was very much a case of seeing how the other half lives with a brand new mansion in a ritzy suburb, caterers, waiting staff - the full works.

No envy here, because I appreciate the hard work he's put into achieving this lifestyle. Also as gorgeous as his property is, it's not what I would want for myself or my family. I guess it's more the reality of getting older slapping me in the face and making me realise that we all should be chasing our dreams. I'm not doing enough of that at the moment.

Have I depressed you all now with my miserable post - apologies if I have. I momentarily thought about deleting this post as well, but hey this is me, this is my brain dump for today and better out than in. I need to shake it off and get my happy pants back on. I miss my family a lot and I guess all of us feel it when Christmas is coming and our loved ones are some distance away.

Coming back happier because tomorrow is another day.

Cheers, Fi

Sweet Dreams

No bad dreams last night - in fact I slept like a baby - exhaustion and several hayfever tablets before bed helped.

Work was a 100% turn around today without the unbearable tension, there's still some work to be done but we're getting there.

I had reason to laugh out loud today. I decided to use the online dream dictionary called Dream Moods - I use it now and again, but it was Jenn who mentioned it in a post and made me want to check to see what my dream about the truck flipping over the other night meant.

This is what I read. “To see a truck in your dream suggests that you are overworked. You are taking on too many tasks and are weighed down by all the responsibilities”

Mmm – that does sound just a little bit like my life.

Here’s the other part of my dream, the bridge, “To dream that you are crossing a bridge signifies an important decision or a critical junction in your life. This decision will prove to be a positive change filled with prosperity and wealth on the horizon. Bridges represent a transitional period in your life where you will be moving on to a new stage.”

Now I’m annoyed that I can’t think of any other dreams to look up, because this was a pretty accurate representation of what's happening in my life at the moment.

Two more things capped off my day nicely; my son reassured me that my worries last night were unecessary. Not sure when you ever stop worrying about your kids - you can actually drive yourself crazy overthinking things. This from me who knows that what will be, will be and worrying about it won't change that.

Oh and the second thing, I got some new diamonds and gold, which is always a reason to smile - I picked up my birthday present from the jewellers tonight. My new ring has been resized (okay so I had to pick it out myself because there's some things that my boys just aren't that good at doing)

I'm extremely thankful that tomorrow is Friday because it's been one hell of a week, hope you've had a good one.

Cheers, Fi

Three quotes today - I couldn't choose

Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you.
Dreams are answers to questions we haven't yet figured out how to ask.
Dreams are only thoughts you didn't have time to think about during the day.

Some days I struggle

Some days have their challenges and despite my usual positive mindset, I'm struggling to remain on top of things and think happy thoughts today.

I woke this morning from a weird dream in which I was running from an out of control truck that had flipped on a bridge and was coming straight for me. My escape was to hang from the side of the bridge. I woke myself up though so have no idea what the outcome was.

The end result was that I woke up too early and felt like I'd been hit by a truck before I even started my day. Slept stupid so have a crink (is that a word?) in my shoulder blade which runs up my neck. I used to blame the water bed, which is obviously not the reason because I'm still getting it. That's why I'm here now, writing about my weird day, getting it out.

Work was a mess of conflicting emotions and lots of stress today. Our project office team is like a dysfunctional family at the moment and has been off and on for a while now. You know the sort of family who you love dearly but who aggravate the hell out of you with their irrational behaviour.

I approached the boss today about it and said we needed a solution and quick because the way I saw it, our group posed the greatest risk to the project at this stage. Our problem, two very strong minded individuals who work in totally opposing ways but neither of whom is wrong. This in turn is affecting the other 6 of us who tiptoe around when the tension is really bad.

We all recognise the problem but no-one knows how to approach the subject or what to say. Yeah well, I'm not known for keeping my mouth shut so I said something - it was either that or one of us was going to do something drastic because the stress was building on all of us.

The sense of relief and gratitude from all involved was reassuring for me that I hadn't overstepped the mark and that hopefully we can find some resolution. We have several ways of fixing the problem so lets hope we achieve some middle ground as a united team in the next few days.

Then there's always one of my boys making me a little uncomfortable or causing me a moment or two of worry to cap off what has been an exhausting day. On another note, I sent the enrolment forms off yesterday for youngest to attend the private school with fees which will suck up a small fortune if he gets in.

It's now a waiting game and I'm trying to project my positive energy out to the universe for his sake. I'm just finding it a little hard today with everything else clammering for my attention. The letter of recommendation he got from his teacher though is absolutely amazing and makes a mothers heart proud.

A wise person said to me today that we need to remember not to sweat the small stuff. Good advice that I should abide by and here's something that always puts a smile on my face and reminds me what life is all about - a pic of my gorgeous grandson (am I un-fired now Jenn?) He was laughing out loud at my youngest the night of my birthday dinner.

Cheers, Fi

Here's synchronicity for you: I wrote the words of the song 'I am Woman, I am strong, I am Invincible' on a post several days ago and there's a story on the news tomorrow night about the singer of that song Helen Reddy, so I'm hearing that song during nearly every ad break tonight on TV. A message in that for me perhaps?????

Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. ~ Benjamin Franklin

Remind yourself.......

How many sites do you visit where you are told to print it, post it and share it - I'm guessing not many. There's not much you get for free these days.

I found this blog tonight with the most amazing list of 20 things to remind yourself. Each and every one of them made sense to me.

We all need to read this list on a regular basis.

1.   Remind yourself that… you are unique and one of a kind.
2.   Remind yourself that… your presence is a present to the world.
3.   Remind yourself that… your life can be just what you want it to be.
4.   Remind yourself to… take the days just one at a time.
5.   Remind yourself to… count your blessings not your troubles.
6.   Remind yourself that… within you are so many answers.
7.   Remind yourself to… understand, have courage, be strong.
8.   Remind yourself that… you’ll make it through whatever comes along.
9.   Remind yourself that… there are so many dreams waiting to be realized.
10. Remind yourself that… decisions are too important to leave to chance.
11. Remind yourself to… not put limits on yourself.
12. Remind yourself that… nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
13. Remind yourself that… the longer you carry a problem, the heavier it gets.
14. Remind yourself to… live a life of serenity, not regrets.
15. Remind yourself to… do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
16. Remind yourself to… not take yourself too seriously.
17. Remind yourself that… friendship is a wise investment.
18. Remind yourself to… reach for your peak, your goal, your prize.
19. Remind yourself to… take time to wish upon a star.
20. Remind yourself that… it’s never too late.

There was so much more to read but the list speaks for itself and you can go and check out the full post yourself here at Life to Fullest.com

Cheers, Fi

Mum - this quote is for you "The impossible I do straight away, miracles take a little longer"

Smiley faces are where its at....

Ha, look - a rainbow smiley!

When I log on to post, I usually check my stats - I used to get really excited when I got double digits, now it's in the triple digits and I check more out of curiosity.

It always interests me to see what people are reading on my blog or more importantly what they're searching for on google or other search engines.

For some reason I have 2 posts that have been getting 'massive hits' lately, I'm sure that it's not so much because of the subject matter but more because of the search words. The most popular is this post called Sounds of Silence, which is all about a new nani in the house with her grandson and enjoying the silence.

The 'Sounds of Silence' happens to be the second album released by Simon and Garfunkel, so I'm sure lots of people are disappointed by finding my post. I didn't know that I was borrowing such a famous title. What this means is that I can create posts with high SEO without even knowing how I'm doing it, because heaps of people also search for the word 'Silence'.

The second most 'hit' post is I am in awe and I am speechless, which is about my pride in my son when he became a new daddy. I have no idea what it is about this post that makes it so popular but admittedly it's one of my faves. I've noticed both of these posts have smiley face images - maybe that's it? It's not my words but the smiley faces.

My communication page is also getting lots of traffic (no smiley faces there though) - so I'm hoping that's purely because of my brilliance on the page. Do you ever find that the posts that you think are brilliant and that you think you'll get lots of feedback on - you don't.  Then the ones that you write that you don't really like or aren't too sure about, everyone has something to say about. Maybe it's just me.

You'll notice the smiley face in this post, just in case I've discovered the ultimate form of SEO which no-one has blogged about yet. I always get a little irritated when I read about search engine optimisation (that's for all of you newbies to blogging, I was once one too) I absolutely can not and will not write a post with certain words just to get it into search engines.

I clashed, no lets put it that I agreed to disagree with my boss the other day, because I can not and will not write words that aren't sincere or honest. It goes against everything I stand for. Not that he was asking me to write anything dishonest but it was words that didn't match my feelings, hence my refusal.

I was pissed to put it mildly, with a message in regard to communication that had been sent out at work. The person's email was abrupt and full of exclamation marks and was partly due to them not reading earlier communication. I couldn't pretend feelings, like wishing them a nice weekend, just to be the 'better man'. I was polite and cordial in my reply but that's it, no more, no less.

Do you write from the heart and with feeling, or do you sometimes have to write words because it's the expected thing to do. I know I can be abrupt and obnoxious if someone questions my integrity. Lets be honest, I can also be obnoxious and abrupt when someone disagrees with me, that's me -  passionate and totally behind every word I write or say.

No apologies for who I am, but it doesn't always win me friends.

Cheers, Fi

Finding that magic feeling...

No blogging yesterday because I was on Nani duty so that DIL could celebrate her birthday with a few drinks and some time with her friends. You forget how time consuming little people are, especially once your own kids get older.

This little guy is the most mellow, happy baby I have ever come across and yes he's taken a big hold of his nani's heart. He just laughs and smiles and giggles - in between eating and sleeping. I seriously would have had 10 babies if they all had of been like him.

None of my three boys, who admittedly were good babies, were as blissed out as this little fellow. He's starting rolling and moving, so it won't be long till he's really mobile. My favourite time is coming closer, when he starts moving and discovering and talking.

I went to log onto my laptop late this afternoon and shock, horror - no internet connection, despite both boys being on computers or X-Box with internet connection. Tried everything, said lots of swear words, stomped my feet, said more swear words - nothing.

Took it out to the shed for hubby to look at and disrupted his socialising. He did all of the things that son and I had already tried with the same result - nothing. So I sulked a bit more and then read my book instead. I could have got on hubby's computer in the bedroom, but the need wasn't that bad.

Half of my  blogging experience is because I can sit on the lounge and write in front of the TV with my family around me, not shut up in the bedroom on a fixed computer. Then my superhero farewelled his friend who'd he'd been sharing a quiet beer with in the man cave and came inside. Half an hour of him messing with my computer and here I am - back online. Yay!

I can write, design, blog and even figure out how to work most software, but the technical side in terms of hardware - no bloody idea.

I've been doing some serious thinking in terms of what I want to do when the project finishes. Yes, okay possibly a little premature because we still have three years to go, but never to soon to be planning and setting goals.

I'm pretty certain that I would be offered another job somewhere within the company, it's been inferred by one of the managers and I know my knowledge would raise my value to them. By the end of the project though I will have racked up almost 14 years of service with the company and I'm pretty certain that by then it will be time to spread my wings.

In fact that's what I'm aiming for, they would have to offer me a pretty amazing job with some incredible dollars for me to stay. Through my work with this project I'm discovering where my strengths and my talents really are and more importantly what I enjoy doing. Working with the internet and web design, writing and designing communication solutions - this is where my true desire lies.

So I'm going to look at some further study with web design, and possibly a public relations slant and see where that could take me. Current boss who is from a consultancy firm (I have 2 bosses) has already told me that when the project is over he will line me up with all the contacts that I need, because I have the talent and could be earning big dollars.

Money aside, knowing that your talents are appreciated is a big boost when you doubt your own ability occasionally. I sometimes find it amazing that it has taken me forty years (admittedly that's only twenty two years of working life) to find something that I really enjoy and am good at.

How are teenagers expected to know what they want to do with their lives? For that matter, how many people spend half their lives searching for that magic feeling?

Well that's enough of letting my mind and fingers run wild on the keyboard - have a great week all and I hope that you have that magic feeling in your life.

Cheers, Fi

The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper ~ Eden Phillpotts

Synchronicity - is it, or not?

Image credit 

I love the idea of synchronicity because to me it proves just how much the world moves in mysterious ways.

Tonight I wasn't going to post, because instead of posting I was meandering my way around the blogosphere doing some reading and visiting.

I found a new blog to read, it was via one of 56 comments left on a blog that I visit regularly.

I was drawn to one - a comment by 'Being Me' and yeah the name resonated for obvious reasons. My whole purpose is about just 'being me' and doing it well. The blog is called 'Finding the Sunny Side Up', which obviously also appealed to my positive thinking side.

Now for the synchronicity - the most current post has a mandala in it (mandalas being my latest discovery), the picture on the header was a South Australian picture - SA being my home state and she has a cat who is the spitting image of my own cat. I wasn't going to comment but I couldn't resist. My comment probably made me sound like a stalker though.

There are so many of the blogs which I visit regularly where I have experienced similar moments of this synchronicity. Common interests, similar lives, shared similarities. I guess it's recognising some of our own traits in another and appreciating them more because of that recognition.

The thing is that synchronicity isn't just about the similarities - it's about discovering something or someone just as you've posted about it yourself or when you're searching for information about something and you find it via an unusual path, not where you would expect to find it.

Earlier this year when I was writing my novel, which in my head I had already entitled 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade' (not sure that the title will remain, but in essence it was the theme of the story).

Anyway, I discovered Cate's 'Show my Face' blog and her Six Word Saturday blog hops and the only blog name that stood out from the roughly 50 blog names was one called the exact same title as my book. It was almost like the kick I needed to finish my novel, the validation that I was on the right path. Strange but true, in my thinking anyway.

So there you go - synchronicity is an amazing thing and I'm sure half of us don't recognise or appreciate the circles of events and happenings and moments which overlap, touch and rebound at all times through our lives.

So why not keep your eyes open and discover the sychronicity of life. I'm certain that it's the little things that matter and which make a difference to our enjoyment of life.

Before I go, I just googled synchronicity and found this gem of an explanation  'Synchronicities are people, places or events that your soul attracts into your life to help you evolve to higher consciousness or to place emphasis on something going on in your life'.

Do you ever feel like some days your mind (or fingers on the keyboard) just run away from you?

Cheers, Fi