Ducks in a row...1,2,3

I’m starting to line up all of my ducks in a row and with that comes all sorts of interesting people and invitations.

And in case you didn’t know…..To get one's ducks in a row essentially means to ensure that all of the small details or elements are accounted for and in their proper positions before embarking on a new project.

So it’s a perfect description really, of what I’m hoping to establish long term.

• I’ve established my profile on LinkedIn – which unbeknownst to me is also obviously a hunting ground for would-be recruiters and salespeople. (It still needs some tweaking, but it’s up there at least)
• I’m reaching and stretching (the old fear muscles) and submitting a few 'words' here and there. In doing this I'm exploring my many different writing options and choices.
• I’ve researched some web hosting platforms and providers with the aim of establishing my own website and encountered more salespeople.
• I signed up for my free trial issue of an SA based business magazine via an Adelaide based networking website. Buyer beware – because I received the phone call from the sales hat wearing person, not because my name is instantly recognisable (I can only wish that my name made people jump that fast) no it’s because of the clout that my employers’ name carries.
• I’m writing madly, every day. At work (for work), at home (for me). Ideas are tumbling over themselves in my mind. The drive home means I have to resist the urge to write notes as my mind races with thoughts and concepts and plans. I think I need one of those voice recording thingy-ma-bobbies. (now there’s a highly descriptive technical term)
• I’m commenting on a range of blogs / websites (aside from my favourites) and starting to build relationships with like minded people.

I read these statements on Jeff’s blog today which also reinforced why I’m doing the things that I’m doing.

When you practice something long enough, you become it.

The more you do something, the better you get.

The better you get, the more you become.

So what are you focused on ‘becoming’? What are you doing to help the process?

Cheers, Fi

The belief in a thing makes it happen ~ Frank Lloyd Wright

Stretching my fear muscles

I have severely under-developed fear muscles and I probably don't stretch them anywhere near as often as I should. The experts warn that regular stretching is recommended to increase flexibility and range of motion.

So it stands to reason that I should stretch my fear muscles more often to ensure that I am re-shaping and defining them. Warming up and regularly stretching will also reduce the risk of injury to my pride and my self esteem. Stretching my fear muscles will also make me stronger and more capable because practice makes perfect.

With that in mind, I bundled up several links to some of my favourite posts and an article that I'd written and sent it zinging out into cyber space for someone to read, critique and decide whether they like me or not. All with the aim to write for another web site, a quite popular one. My fear muscle was stretched tight as I hit the submit button.

It wasn't that I was worried that they might not like my stuff. I was more worried that they actually might like it and then I'd have to write something original and witty on a regular basis. I'd have to perform on cue, when required.

Is that silly or what? Not just fear of rejection but fear of success also.

How often do we risk injuring ourselves because we're too scared to stretch that old fear muscle. We may not have enough belief in our ability to do the job, or worse we're afraid we might have to actually do what we say we can do and prove ourselves.

The best advice must surely be, regular daily stretching and keeping the following things in mind.

• Warm up first - don't just dive into stretching the fear muscle, slow and steady progress is recommended.
  
• Focus on a pain-free stretch - it shouldn't hurt to stretch your fear muscle, it can be scary but never painful.
  
• Relax and breathe freely - go with it, relax and feel comfortable about what you're doing
  
• Stretch before and after activity - feel the fear and do it anyway

Today I stretched my fear muscle and I submitted some of my writing. I will continue to write and submit to increase my flexibility and build my strength

So what have you done lately that's made you flex your fear muscles?

Cheers, Fi

If you put yourself in a position where you have to stretch outside your comfort zone, then you are forced to expand your consciousness ~ Les Brown

Cuddling chaos

This could be my house (Image credit)

So I had a post in mind to write yesterday and then we received bad news about a friends' death and everything kind of faded into a little puddle of meaningless words.

Now I will share those words with you because it's these little moments of wonderfulness in amongst the drama of life that make me smile and laugh out loud.

My brother and sister-in-law came down from Renmark on Friday night and my house was chaos multiplied by a thousand. We live in an average sized three bedroom house, of course in my next life I'll have the mansion.

We have almost enough room for the four of us, when oldest son still lived at home we were a little cramped, but we're outdoors people so as long as you have sleeping room the rest doesn't really matter.

Friday night under our roof we had hubby and I and the youngest two of our boys. Also had middle son's girlfriend, my brother, sister-in-law and nephew and also my grandson. That's four adults, three teenagers and two children in a three bedroom house. It was a little tight.

Combine that with my nephew not feeling 100% and a midnight bath after he threw up in his bed and we had our own soap opera. You know the ones with lots of people and drama and action.

Saturday I did about 5000 kilometres of driving (well it must have been close because I felt like I drove forever) we had football in the morning for youngest with grandson and the furkid in tow, then home to drop off the dog, hubby and youngest, into the city for glamour photoshoot with oldest son and grandson (my mothers day pressie) then dropped them off across town.

It was then a logistical nightmare to work out all the remaining people in my house and who needed to be where, when and how. Brother and sister-in-law to watch the football in the city, youngest son to be driven to the local football club for presentations, nephew left with the son's girlfriend until I could get back across town to collect him, youngest then to a friends for a sleepover, hubby to be picked up from a mate's place.

Yeah, you get the idea - my weekend was super crazy.

As always the gorgeous boys in my life made me smile through all the chaos. My nephew's golden comments. "Auntie Fi your car has no back doors (it's a two door hatch) so it must be magic" because he was still in the back seat despite no back door. Don't you love the logic of a child's mind?

Then my favourite, we were driving along and it had started raining. I told him that I hate rain and he quickly replied that he loved rain because it makes puddles and he loves jumping in puddles. He's three years old, he reminds me often how quickly you forget the honesty and innocence of the young.

Grandson charmed every single person throughout our three hour photo shoot, he laughed, he giggled, he charmed. He is the most delighfully happy and cheerful baby in the world. The best part of my weekend is when my nephew climbs into my lap and says I love you Auntie Fi or when grandson crawls to my feet and puts his arms up to be picked up, then snuggles in for a cuddle.

All of my gorgeous boys make everything else meaningless, all my stress, all my agro, all my fears - they all fade into nothingness.

Hope you all took time for cuddles and love in amongst the chaos this weekend. To my darling pregnant sister-in-law who I know will be reading this - we love having you, despite the chaos and crazy times and can't wait until we have another one to add to the mix.

Cheers, Fi
 

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.

Heaven has another ratbag

In every Australian suburb and in every small country town there's the local corner shop. Ours is only 5 houses away and has been run by the same family for all of the 19 years that I've lived in this house.

Our local shop is run by a little old Lebanese woman who's there before sun up to open the doors and then come the afternoons and evenings, her two sons come in and run the shop and then close up at night.

There's two daughters who also occasionally help out when mum is overseas visiting family or when family events require mum to help out. I'm not sure where the father / husband is, he's never been around.

That shop is open rain, hail or shine, Christmas day, Easter, you name it and that shop is open. Today the shutters remain down and the doors remain closed. Instinctively you imagine the old lady has passed away, she's old, but then she doesn't look any different to the day I moved into the neighbourhood 19 years ago.

I found out from a phone call from my son this morning that the eldest son died last night, heart attack. He's in his 30's (I stand corrected - he was 40) with everything to live for, a wife and two small children and now he's gone. To say I'm shocked is an understatement.

He's been in our lives for 19 years, he's not a close friend but he's a part of our day-to-day life, in so much as you say hi, how's things, how's the family - kind of way.

He's known my boys since the day they were born, he gooed and gaaed over them as babies, and then later wrestled and teased them when we went into the shop. There was joy when he got married and when his boys were born and I'm sure his mother breathed a sigh of relief.

He was truly a larrikin lad, he skirted on the edges of the law, he mixed with somewhat dubious characters, he was rough and tough and not always politically correct in his comments and behaviour. He was a ratbag who encouraged my boys to do 'ratbag' deeds but in a funny kind of way.

He came from good stock though, he loved his mum, he adored his wife and boys and he had a heart of gold and a bag of lollies or chocolates for every child in the neighbourhood. Organising santa to visit on Christmas Eve every year was tradition in our neighbourhood and every child knew that the corner shop was the place to be. He was one of those people who always had a smile and a word for every one.

Last night another ratbag left this earth and for some strange reason that makes me incredibly sad; for his wife, for his beautiful ratbag boys who will grow up without their daddy and even for myself because the corner shop just won't be the same without him.

It's amazing how even the people who are only on the outskirts of your life can leave such a big void when they're gone. Hug your loved ones tight everyone and even share a smile for those who aren't so close because things can change in a heartbeat.

Hugs, Fi

"Tears are words from the heart which can't be spoken"

Comments are flying across Facebook tonight as everyone remembers him and the impact he had on our neighbourhood and the people who knew him. I found this picture of him and his boys which a friend had posted on her wall. This is him doing what he did best, being a dad.

I'm toasty warm on the inside

Every so often someone does something so thoughtful, so completely unexpected that it totally warms you from the inside out.

Today I arrived at work to discover a pink envelope propped against my computer which had my name on it and the cryptic message Not on your list - A big mistake "Get a friend to help me". Inside I discovered four scrap pieces of paper with different messages.

Message 1: TMM 69. I was over 40 when I first discovered HUBRIS
Message 2: Better  get moving on this one SI 89 (can't believe you haven't done this - a sheltered life)
Message 3: B&S31 Skin Central Brighton 83771300 (monthly specials)
Message 4: F&F 41 Victor Harbor $99

I'm not cryptic in my thinking - at all, in fact I'm kinda thick sometimes when it comes to anything cryptic. In the mornings I get to work at a ridiculously stupid hour, so that I have a traffic free run and then so I can read my emails and have my breakfast before I start my work. The only person who gets there earlier in my area is my boss (although some days I wonder if he even goes home at night)

I knew it wasn't him (he's not a pink envelope type of person) but he had put other work on my desk so I went with my best thought that it must be from his wife. She's recently discovered my blog through Google Plus (which is the only positive thing that I can say about Google Plus at this stage, because I'm not a fan yet)

It was only when I sat down tonight and really read through the messages that I realised what they actually were, they were related to my 101 tasks in 1001 days list on the challenges tab.

Below is message 1 - as in # 69. Learn a new word every week and use it on my blog. The word is HUBRIS which I googled and it means "extreme pride or arrogance. Hubris often indicates a loss of contact with reality and an overestimation of one's own competence or capabilities, especially when the person exhibiting it is in a position of power"

Love it, now I just need to figure out a sentence using this word.

Message 1

Message 2 was #89. Go to the movies on my own. She's even included a movie ticket - go figure. Now I need to choose which movie to see?

Message 2

Message 3 was # 31. Treat myself to a manicure and pedicure. She provided the name and phone number for a salon.

Message 3

Last but not least, message 4 was # 41. Organise 3 overnight getaways with hubby. This is a special deal for a standard spa room for $99 a night at a nearby Country Club.

Message 4

I'm stunned, surprised and absolutely bewildered at how thougtful this gesture is. So to all my bloggy friends, especially those involved in Sarsm's 101 tasks in 1001 days, lets keep the circle going and do a similar thing for someone else. Kind of like the pay it forward theory.

I'm going to come back and tell you about what I do for someone else and also about the four challenges I'm going to cross off of my list very soon. With photos even if you're lucky.

Candy - I'd like to be even half as thoughtful and as creative as you are. Thank you.

Cheers, Fi

Everything starts with a thought

So my blog has undergone a little bit of a transformation. It was time, that and there's also the reality that once you start experimenting just a little within Blogger then basically you're committed because its very hard to get back to something which you'd over-customised to start with.

I think it's almost time to move to my own domain and create exactly what I want, I just need the right time to do so. For now, I think I've removed some of the clutter, and streamlined the look - well that was my aim anyway.

I'm putting things in place for future activities, both on this blog and in my life. Then I found this equation on a post which I read tonight which seemed entirely appropriate.

Thought + Belief = Success

I'm sure that some small measure of blood, sweat and tears is needed as well, but as the title of my post says - everything starts with a thought. What are your thoughts saying to you? Are they positive, inspirational and encouraging?

Or are they disbelieving, demeaning and challenging? Do you Believe? In yourself, in your ability, in your dreams?

Sometimes the times we need to be the strongest and believe the hardest are the times when we need it most and we don't know how to think positive, we just can't get there. Last year during some months of immense stress and worry over a family member, I was struggling to cope, to think positively or to even believe it would ever get better.

Because while it's easy to think positively when life is sunshine and roses and everything is just fine and dandy, it's not so when you can't see your way out of a mess and you have limited control over events affecting you or others you care about.

As kooky and as weird as it may sound, I took to saying the words 'I trust that the universe will bring me all that I need and that everything will be as it is meant to be' over and over in my head at night. It was my sleep ribbon every night. It's hard to explain, but I just let myself believe based on all the other times that things had just worked out, despite the odds at the time.

When our children were young we struggled financially, but we always found a way to get by. Hubby would get some extra overtime, one of us would get a cash gift for Christmas, Easter or a birthday, it  would just come in at a much needed moment, or I'd get unexpected hours. We always had a roof over our heads, we always ate, despite me worrying that we might not.

I'm not saying that shitty, horrible, bad things don't happen - I am saying that we have to believe that things will work out and be open to the possibilities. 

Sometimes all you can do is throw it out there and then believe that a solution will be provided. It does work, well for me it has - I've had it happen too many times to not believe.

Try it and then come back and tell me about it, or share a story of when you have done it. Alternatively feel free to tell me that I'm talking out my butt because everyone's also entitled to an opinion. 

Cheers, Fi

Open your mouth and say ahhhhh.....

Today was a day of medico networking, both animal and people medicos. I had a trip to the specialist today for the update on the CT scan which I had on Saturday.        

                                                                                        

Now I'm on the waiting list for septal surgery to sort out my breathing problems, okay yeah too much information, septal does sound kinda gross - sorry.

Anyway, surgery should be some time in the next 12 months, only because I refuse to pay the $5000 to have it done now through the private system. I've lived with it 40 years, one more year won't hurt. I think I've also found the one and only organised and structured specialist in the entire universe.

I arrived 10 minutes early for my appointment and didn't even have time to fire up the Kindle before he called me in. I'd even downloaded more books to my Kindle specifically for this purpose. He must have missed the memo that says all doctors are expected to run late, and even more so once you put 'professor' in front of their name (and believe me his waiting room was chockers)

The man was speaking notes into his voice recorder for a letter to my local GP while he was writing up surgery registration papers for me. Definitely impressive to watch in action and no shortage of information supplied to his patient either. The man is a machine, a well organised and oiled machine.

Our puppy also went in this morning for the big snip, the vet has just called to say she's all good and to tell me what time I can pick her up. I've been co-owner of at least three other dogs in my life and never quite cared as much as I do about this little girl. Sad case aren't I? It was like I was leaving one of my children at the hospital this morning, well almost anyway.

The brain is churning in full forward today, plenty of ideas for my next novel(s), business ideas, things I need to do, I need to make some lists to make sure I don't lose half of the ideas swirling around. It's a little chaotic in my head at the moment. Speaking of that, here's a really interesting site I found yesterday. I'm still exploring all of its uses, but it seems perfect for writing purposes (or business)

It's called Evernote (and it's free - so definitely my sort of site) Basically you can clip, save, record notes from any computer, any mobile device and it groups them all in one place for easy reference. As a list maker and an idea gatherer, this is awesome for me. When I learn more about it I will let you know but you can go check it out for yourself if it sounds like your kind of thing.

At the moment I quite often discover websites, blogs and tools during the course of my work day and send the links all home by email so I can look at them out of working hours.  With this program from what I can gather I can save them to a file which I can access from anywhere. I can also send them from my phone.

Technology, doncha love it, I just wish it would slow down long enough for me to catch up. Anyways that's my news for now.

Cheers, Fi

Image Credit

Kicking the bucket list to the side?

I need just a few days, or weeks, or months to catch up on everything I want to get done. I have about 30 minutes to write this post before I'm out the door again and this is the first time I've sat today.

Well except at 7am this morning when I read the paper and had my coffee and chased my grandson around between slurps of caffeine and a page turn of the newspaper.

When hubby finishes work at 3 we're off to the beach to take the dog for a nice play with a friends dog, a long run and a swim. Tomorrow she's off to the vet for the girl's equivalent of the big SNIP, so no socialising or walks on the beach for two weeks. She's going to be miserable, but all for the good.

We're out to dinner for MIL's birthday tonight (how can I be enthusiastic about this one) Don't get me wrong, I don't mind dinner with the in-laws but we did it last weekend for mothers day and I thought we could get away with not doing it again this week.

How do you explain to retired people that having to drive 45 minutes to the other side of town on a Sunday night is a pain in the butt. My boys hate late nights on a Sunday and we go to the same pub every time, which is only 5 minutes from my brother-in-laws (who have NO children) The ironic thing is that the parent in-laws also have to go out of their way to drive to the other side of town as well.

Why can't we do it this end of town for goodness sake. Ahhhh breathe and release. Breathe!

So my final piece of wisdom to share with you is something that I read this morning. The article in the paper this morning says to forget your bucket lists and your things-to-do lists because the reality is that people's biggest regrets before they die are the following;

1. I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard
3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings
4. I wish I'd stayed in touch with my friends
5. I wish I had let myself be happier

It's not about selfishness but about taking responsibility for creating the circumstances of a loving life. How's that for some wisdom to take you into the next week. Hope it inspires you like it did me.

Now I'm off to cavort on the beach with my puppy. Have an awesome week.

Cheers, Fi