Beating my chest

Give me the strength ......... to survive living in a house with males, testosterone and a need to always be right. Can I be childish and ridiculous for one moment here as well?

I want to scream and kick my feet and chuck a wobbly. I've said this before and I'm still sure there's a valid need to release the frustration I feel by throwing a tantrum.

Locking horns definition - if two people lock horns, they argue about something. Etymology: based on the literal meaning of two fighting animals such as deer whose horns lock together.

Sixteen year old son and father - yes I can see the comparison

I'm sure that Alan Joyce is probably wanting to throw a screaming, kicking tantrum at the moment as well. He's the potential idiot CEO from Qantas - well at the very least he's one of the most unpopular people on the planet at the moment. I have a vague idea of the facts of this whole Qantas drama, the industrial action and the subsequent shutdown of the entire Qantas airline. The thing is, I don't give a hoot.

What I am concerned about is that our consultants on the project probably won't be flying in tomorrow due to an inability to get a flight into Adelaide. How we deal with the scheduled workshop they're meant to be facilitating is something we will deal with tomorrow. We are somewhat powerless to do anything this afternoon.

I also have the little unanswered question of how any person in this world can actually do anything to justify an annual $5.1M paycheck. Mr Alan Joyce, how can this be serious? This man has made a judgement call which is costing the company $20M a day and is not only damaging the company and wreaking havoc on travellers worldwide, but which also has the potential to totally destroy the Australian economy.

What I do know is that there's a lot of emotion and power play involved in this industrial fight, much the same as the chest thumping occuring in my house at the moment. Is there a right or wrong - in some cases it only depends on which side of the fence you're sitting. I think the reality is that we lose track of the original source of disagreement and everything gets blown out of proportion.

It becomes a battle to be right, to prove who's in control rather than finding an answer to the original problem at hand so that everyone comes out with a workable solution. That's in essence how wars occur isn't it? It's about power and control, and a whole mess of other contributing influences and no I don't plan to lessen the horror of war in this post.

It has long been documented that humans -- particularly, it has to be noted, men -- exhibit more subtle yet nonetheless unmistakable physical signs to try and assert their self-perceived alpha status, much like the chest thumping gorilla or chimpanzee who is aiming to assert their dominance. Does any of this sound familiar?

Well I guess I've probably got you thinking and I've at least released some of my frustration. Tomorrow also looks set to be an interesting day at work (I'll probably get to witness some more chest thumping) They're also drilling one hundred plus dyna bolts into the concrete floor on the ground level of our 'open plan' building for a new fast tracked interactive display area. I'm sure this will be entirely conducive to a calm day at work.

Have a great week all, I'm going to go and practice some more chest thumping so I can be more arrogant and knowledgeable.

Cheers, Fi

Laugh when you can, apologise when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, play hard, forgive quickly, take chances, give everything and have no regrets. Life's too short to be anything

Bursting the reality bubble

Image

As much as I love my life, well most parts of it on most days, there's still that little human part of me who can't resist comparing my dream life with the actual reality of my life.

So my dream house would mean waking up in my nice ranch style home set on several acres of lush bushland with the symphony of birdsong nearby, but also close enough to all of the conveniences of the city with none of the smog, rush hour or crime problems.

The reality is waking up in my three bedroom house on a quarter acre block miles from the centre of the city (because housing is cheaper in the 'burbs') and closely surrounded by other similar houses. The gardens could use a little TLC and to avoid the issue of smog, rush hour or crime, switching off or ignoring it are probably the only options.

My dream job would be writing best selling novels and getting paid ludicrous amounts of money for them but I would also dabble in consulting work doing all the sorts of things that I'm doing now.

The reality, I fight rush hour every morning to drive the forty five minutes to my job as a communications lead on a project. The work is great, the people mostly okay but ohhhhhh give me the freedom of not having to answer to twits who have no idea of anything other than their own self importance. Besides the fact that I'm seriously underpaid I'm soaking up every scrap of knowledge humanly possible to enable at least the second part of my dream life to become reality.

My dream family is happy, contented and there's no fighting. Everyone is understanding and respectful of each other.
Tee hee - the reality, I've got the right family members who I love dearly but boy do we fight and argue and then all kiss and make up and then we do it all again. It's obviously a case of too much testosterone.

My dream holiday occurs every year like clockwork - somewhere overseas, exciting and adventurous and always a new place. Plenty of time and the finances to really relax and enjoy the holiday.

The reality, a four hour car trip to Renmark when I can get a few days off work to visit my family members and the rest of the time spent begging and pleading with hubby (okay make that nagging and whining) for an overseas holiday. Note: the well paid dream job would probably lessen the need for so much nagging and whining.

My dream life would in truth bore me stupid and on the down side would give me nothing to write about here on this blog. After all who likes reading about perfect people, living perfect lives and being perfectly happy. Perfectly pathetic.

The reality - I love my life with all its ups and downs, the good times and the bad times. Okay, so maybe a few less downs and bad times wouldn't be such a bad thing.

It's only occasionally that I have to shake my head a little harder to dislodge the image in my head of me lying on a recliner beside the pool on a tropical island and being told that my tenth novel has just hit the best sellers list.

Disclaimer: the writer of this post reserves the right to point out that dreaming about being all that you can be and setting out to get it is quite different to the 'dream life' portrayed in this post.

Now here are the photos as I promised, of our baby magpie ' Boss' who has become youngest MM's best buddy. Son has rigged up a perch by clamping a stick to his desk and now the magpie sits and watches him play x-box. Without the perch, 'Boss' clambers all over his desk and keyboard and disturbs his gaming.

He'll sit for hours and he's fascinated by the action on the screen (that's the bird I'm talking about not my son and I'm assuming the bird is a boy because every other living thing in my life is male) In case anyone is concerned, a strategically placed box on the ground beneath the birds butt deals with the nasties - we haven't quite figured out how to toilet train a baby bird yet.

He's actually got lots of downy grey feathers on his belly which you can't really see in these pics and he actually looks like he's listening when you talk to him. Even puts his head on the side and looks at you. Okay so he's probably saying to himself 'what idiot humans these ones are', but I can pretend he looks like he understands. So how do you say 'do your poop in the toilet', in bird talk?

Also, while  I think of it - Happy first blogoversary to my fellow blogger in crime I am not Superwoman. A blog birthday is truly worth celebrating, especially your first. Why not pop by and say hi.

Hope you all have a super weekend.

Cheers, Fi

Mish Mash Brain

Today is one of those days when everything is a mish mash in my brain, a mess of swirling thoughts, ideas and dreams.

I had an idea of what I wanted to write about tonight and then did some reading first and now I just have a mess of everything in my head.

So while I'm making sense of my thoughts, I can at least report that I've done 3 consecutive days of treadmilling this week. I don't think that's a word but I can create my own words can't I?

My other word for this week, which gave the boys in the project team a good laugh, was plushness. I was asking whether they were appreciating the plushness of the new office. I'm sure that should be a word as well.

So lets do a summary, okay perhaps a brain dump of what is swirling in my head at the moment:

1) Story tonight on television about a teenager who has been bullied for his weight. His mum (and this is where awesomeness comes in) has supported him by not only getting him a personal trainer but also doing months and months of training alongside him. Mums rock don't they?

This also reinforces my belief that support or back up helps make our goals more achievable.

2) Listening to my inner voice today, sometimes I listen. I've been using a new handbag for over a week and I hadn't transferred everything over yet (that is, all the additional rubbish and not vital requirements) I also hadn't put my migraine tablets in my new bag.

For some reason when I grabbed my phone charger out of my old handbag this morning I grabbed my migraine tablets too. Fortuitous - because migraine this afternoon, only minor luckily but also probably an explanation for mushy brain tonight.

3) Do you get frustrated by lying, cheating people on television programs despite knowing that it's scripted and eventually the perpetrator will be found out. I can't help it, I get annoyed. I dislike dishonesty.

4) Beauty and the Geek is the most annoying show in the world. Are people really this intelligent and clueless and are gorgeous looking people really that dumb. This is the worst example of stereotypes ever.

5) Our travel agent that we use through work today mentioned her overworked status to the Project Administrator, who then of course mentioned to me that they are currently evacuating people from Thailand because of massive flooding. Selfish me, people are losing homes and I'm considering how this will affect my chances of a holiday there.

6) Hubby starts three weeks of holidays tomorrow night - six months ago we were originally planning on going to Bali next week. A moment of sadness here, my 40th birthday will not be celebrated in Bali.

7) My 40th birthday is rapidly approaching - egads.

I think today should be Friday, I'm feeling a little worn out tonight, with my mishy mashy brain. Although I'm also feeling slightly lighter now that I've got at least 7 things out of my head and down on the screen.

So that's all for now, my overworked little brain needs rest

Cheers, Fi

I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up. ~ Erma Bombeck

Livin' Life

Yes Louise, I certainly do rock! I dragged my butt out of bed at 5.30 am this morning, well I only hit snooze once on my alarm instead of the normal 5 or 6 times. I got on my treadmill and while I only did a piddly 10 minutes of walking, I at least did it.

In fact it was easy, I put the television on the morning news and off I went walking my little heart out - mind you the hour was that early that even 'Boss' the magpie wasn't awake to squawk at me. No respect that bird, with it's head tucked under its wing ignoring my massive effort.

In fact despite how stupid this might sound, my whole day had a better feel about it. I was ready with time to spare this morning, despite walking. The day flowed beautifully and dammit I was proud that I had taken the first step. It's got to be easier from here.

So thank you people for inspiring me to do it, or at least making me feel that I owe it to you to follow through on my promises. In my eyes it doesn't matter how you make it happen, as long as you do make it happen. If me believing I owe it to you guys to stick to my word then whatever works.

I plan on walking five mornings a week, in other words only on weekdays and I will build up to the thirty minutes I was up to in November last year before my little accident. Do you want a laugh, because I can laugh about it now. I was helping my parents with their big house move, I'd especially taken the day off work which was an event in itself.

An hour after arriving at their house, early in the morning as well. I was carrying a television out to my car, a throw away that I was claiming for our shed. It wasn't too heavy but it was awkward and I slipped on the white rocks in their front yard. Flat on my back, my coccyx was the first to hit the ground. Now that was pain. I did my neck, my shoulder and my back. I couldn't walk properly for a month and even six months later my coccyx was tender.

So I think my reasoning for not getting on the treadmill in a hurry is a little bit warranted, plus the undeniable fact that I was the slightest bit lazy and unmotivated as well.

I saw the elephant pic in this post on a powerpoint presentation at my chiropractors' today so when I got home I had to google 'elephant water spray' to find it. I absolutely loved it. I'm not usually a huge fan of elephants but they seem to be growing on me and given that one of my challenges is to ride on an elephant, it seemed fitting.

That and the fact that I'm sure the only place I could ride an elephant is Thailand and visiting there is a another one of my challenges. Don't disillusion me and tell me where I can ride an elephant closer to home.

I'm still trying to convince hubby that just because he built a man cave (shed) doesn't mean we can't afford to go to Thailand. Does it? Positive thinking people, I am going to Thailand, it's just a matter of when.

Cheers, Fi

Life is
the only chance you get,
how you live it,
what you take from it,
how much you give back,
a joy and a heartbreak,
doing the best with what you have,
loving with all of your heart,
treating all forms of it with respect,
and a wondrous beautiful mystery. ~ C.Yost

Walking the talk

This is a really quick post, I'm late in writing tonight because I've been playing with the baby magpie and then drifting through the blogosphere and reading posts, in other words wasting time.

I have to post this though because I've discovered the most valuable tool I have in my toolkit to ensure I achieve my goals or challenges that I've set, is to tell you guys about something that I plan to do. Then for some stupid reason I feel compelled to do it.

It doesn't matter that I should be doing it for myself - because the reality is I am doing it for me and if telling you all about it makes me actually do it instead of just talking about it, then so be it. I told you I was going to ride the train and that was the final kick in the pants every time I thought about backing out. In other words I did it.

So...ready the drumroll.....tomorrow morning I will drag my butt out of bed and get on my treadmill. This is me who hates mornings yet has been lamenting my lack of motivation to get back on the treadmill which hubby bought for my birthday almost 12 months ago. I experienced a short humurous yet painful incident (not on the treadmill though) which resulted in a really serious pain in the rear end / back and then I didn't get back on it.

I've got hubby to set it up (extra ammunition if he's in on my plan, because he's been saying he'll sell it due to lack of use - and it wasn't a cheap treadmill either, so I'm even more compelled)

So at the ungodly hour of 5.30am tomorrow - can you feel my shudder - I will be pounding the treadmill  with 'Boss' the magpie squawking his encouragement, only because he shares his home in the shed with my treadmill. Ohhh the things we do.

Once upon a time when I was young I used to get up at a crazy hour and walk the dog, it was still dark then and I felt safer with the dog, alas the dog is no longer with us and walking in the dark is probably no longer a wise move. Old age, lack of motivation and an aversion to the cold means that the treadmill in the shed is more to my liking. Wish me luck.

Cheers, Fi

One day, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching...♥

Never judge a book by its cover

The saying about never judging a book by it's cover is meant to refer to people and often we do judge people purely by their looks, in reality we're doing them a serious injustice by not looking deeper.

I was guilty of that this week and I find this saying ironic because when I purchase or select a book from the library it's chosen purely by its cover.

Three full days of no blogging - once upon a time I would have felt like my throat had been cut, now I know occassionally it's necessary for me to take a step back and not be so obsessive about blogging. The world didn't stop spinning and I'm sure no-one lost any sleep over it, so all is good.

We've had a busy, busy week. Work was the normal crazy. Drinks at the pub on Friday night for a friend who acts and behaves 40 but was celebrating his 60th birthday. Then a trek to the Adelaide Hills on Saturday afternoon / evening for another friends 40th birthday.

Beautiful spring weather for a drive in the countryside. Hubby needed a sharp word though because he drives like a race car driver and I'm such a baby on winding roads and I start feeling carsick very easily.

The drive home was even less entertaining because it was me behind the wheel (as the designated 'sober' driver) and the fog was really, really thick. I could probably see about three metres in front of me on the winding roads, so it was a slow hour long drive home. Scares me stupid driving on winding roads in the hills at the best of times, worse still when you can't see anything.

So I've done my socialising for the week (or month) It's quite amusing really because hubby and I are so different, he's the social butterfly who can't go a day without friends and action around him, whereas me - I could quite happily live with my own company for days on end. I think I'm getting worse the older I get.

The thing is I spend all week at work with lots of people, communicating, organising and dealing with them. My job is simply people, without people I have no job and that's okay. But when I come home I'm quite over people and just want to sit and chill in my own space with my own thoughts. This is where my blogging had gotten a little out of control because I was using that as my escape.

So to keep the family happy I will try to be a little more sociable, I will blog a little bit less, but to still maintain my sanity I will start up my writing again. I've let it lag since I finished my first novel - which I've also done nothing more with - bad, bad me. I have a number of things that I want to look at and investigate, things that are on my challenges list which also deserve my attention.

I got chatting with the partner of one of Hubby's workmates at this party yesterday and was amazed by how much she has done with her life. I've met her several times before but have never really spoken to her that much. Her and her partner travel a lot - no kids yet, they're younger than us so it's easier. She's jumped out of a plane, been bungey jumping and has also done a flight in an aerobatic plane.

To meet her you would think gorgeous looking girl (model material) and not much more, yet here is a classic example of the danger of taking people only at face value. She's extremely intelligent, does amazing adventurous things as well as awesome things like taking supplies to Bali for orphanages and so many other things.

She was truly inspiring to talk to and one of those genuine down to earth, really nice people. It makes my socialising more enlightening when I meet and talk to such interesting people. I must also add - my fellow 'chattee' at the party yesterday has also been to Phuket so was fired up at hubby that we simply must go to Thailand and take our boys.

One last piece of news before I go (well I do have to fit three days news into one post don't I?). Hubby came home with a baby magpie yesterday, the poor little thing must have fallen out of a tree and landed on the roof of his work van as he was driving along. He heard the scuffling on the roof and then saw something slide down the back window so he pulled over and it was sitting on the strobe light on the back of his van.

It's got some of it's feathers but still has lots of grey down. It's very tame and hubby has taken quite a shine to it. He's called it 'boss' and it's living in the bathroom in the shed and he's feeding it meal worms (yech!)

This pic is not of our magpie but it shows you what they look like if you've never seen one. I'll post a photo of 'boss' at a later date.

Apparently they're very loyal and entertaining birds when you tame them, so we'll see. I'm sure the bird and the cat probably won't see eye-to-eye though, which could be interesting.

Well that's my rambling for the week (there's a lot of it), hope you've all had a good weekend.

Cheers, Fi

I'm a strong person, but every now and then I would like someone to take my hand say everything will be alright. - unknown

Did the earth move for you?

The news is full of it, everyone is talking about it. The 'earthquake' that rocked Adelaide at 2.25 this morning. I'm a little amused because 3.3 is something I don't really consider an earthquake.

At the same time, I'm also thankful we didn't get something bigger which could have caused damage. They say we're overdue for a big one, but as they say no-one knows when or where.

The funniest part - last night was the first night that I've slept all through the night since my new 'queenly' bed arrived. Typical! Funnier still, because we're still adjusting to a normal bed and not a water bed, when hubby was woken by the ground moving he actually thought it was me rolling over in bed and shaking the bed.

Yes, they call me Superwoman. Okay so I might have a kilo or two extra that I could part with, but I certainly don't have the ability to move the earth or shake the shit out of the bed.

Awesome weather today 34.5C, roll on summer because I love warm days. It was delightful to come home from work this afternoon in daylight hours, sit on the back verandah with an icy cold vodka and lemonade and share it with hubby and friends. Enjoying the moment.

We're started doing site visits at work as part of our business readiness work for the project. I love getting out to the other sites, meeting new people and seeing how they do things. We've got 6 business divisions and roughly 170 sites across Australia, so while we won't get to all of them, we'll defintely get to some of them. Lots of potential, lots of people to meet.

Shorter post today (well maybe not that short), jobs to be done and some relaxing to do before I head off to bed. A mum's work is never done.

Cheers, Fi

Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it

Sensory overload

The only runny nose that makes me smile

Warm, balmy spring days equal sensory overload. I'm overwhelmed by the beautiful scents and sounds of the season.

The days seem so much brighter after the gloomy, dark days of winter and the abundance of flowers in every colour of the rainbow make me smile.

It's one of my favourite times of the year and while my senses are being assaulted with the beauty of spring, my nose is also bemoaning the season. Hayfever and sinus problems are the curse of many (me included)

Can you grow out of it - because my hayfever is no longer the extremes that it used to be i.e watery eyes, uncontrollable sneezing and an overwhelming feeling of yech. Yet having said that, my sinuses still get blocked and make me feel thick headed.

Driving home tonight I experienced one of those fleeting bubbles of pleasure that you experience where everything seems right in your world. I'd had a reasonable day at work - that happens when you keep head down, bum up and mouth shut. I need to learn to do more of that. Everything with my children at this moment in time is calm (I live for and relish these small moments when they occur)

I've given up hoping for peace and quiet and calm on a regular basis. Living and working with volatile, opinionated and passionate people just makes it an impossible dream. So short of hiding myself away from people and living the life of a hermit and boy that thought is occasionally appealing, I just need to learn to go with it and not fight it so hard.

So I live for those quite moments of joy and bliss when everything is right in my world and it was exactly that, as I drove home tonight in bright spring sunshine (I do love daylight savings) with flowers everywhere I looked. I arrived home to a cooked dinner of ravioli - yay for a hubby who can cook - and a family who were happy and not arguing. I think the male species often argue just for the sake of arguing.

Now all I need tonight is the hope that it will be a better night for sleeping in my bed made for a queen. Maybe I need to act more like a queen and then I will sleep more like one. Time to go and eat my ravioli.

Cheers, Fi

Out with the old...

I'm sure many of us have a friend called Justin, or have at some stage in our lives. You might know him better as just-in-case. There's a huge number of things that I've carefully put away for just-in, things which fill my cupboards and are there for just-in case I may need them one day.

For years now I've kept my skinny clothes for just-in, and all of my university workbooks for just-in and even bottles and bottles of essential oils for just-in. All of those things that I'm simply dreaming I may actually use again one day, or fit into, or that are so far past their use by date that it's ridiculous to keep them but I've kept them all for just-in.

I'm a hoarder, simply put I hate to throw things away. The thing is, my new bedroom suite arrived yesterday and in celebration - I threw mountains of things away. No more keeping things for just-in, if I don't wear it or use it, I ditched it (or I gave it away if I couldn't bear to throw it away).

All of my out-of-date essential oils from my days of aromatharapy, my tarot cards which I haven't used for years and years. My skinny clothes, my mountains of make-up and perfumes from my days of selling for Avon. I even still had some of my key assignments from university. All gone!

Growing up and even my first years out of home I moved house regularly so spring cleaning my belongings was a regular event. It was a fantastic way to clean and rejuvenate when you were moving, because packing and moving all of your junk forces you to cull and toss unused items.

I've lived in this house for almost 18 years, so not as much culling or tossing as has probably been required (I really need to move house and do an extensive clean out). This weekend though, I got ruthless and I went through with a heavy hand and now my bedroom has the lightest feeling about.

I know it's been much needed and is highly recommended and I'm sure there's something in there about cleansing the soul and throwing away unwanted items. I'm still adjusting to the new bed and can't say I had the best sleep last night, probably too much movement and activity in the room with all the upheaval of my personal things.

I'm sure things will settle and the bed will 'grow' on me, hubby says he slept like a dream - how typical of a male. Hope you've had a great weekend - I feel like I've achieved a lot which is a nice feeling.

Cheers, Fi

Change is often rejuvenating, invigorating, fun... and necessary ~ Lynn Povich

If I were an elephant

I think if it wasn't Friday and the end of the working week then I might have been tempted to be sick tomorrow so I could stay in bed and not have to go to work.

What a day, in fact what a week. I've decided that if I was an elephant then my life would be so much easier because;

1) I would have a thicker skin
2) I would be recognised as having an excellent memory and above average intelligence
3) I could stand for long periods of time without getting tired because fat stumpy legs are expected when you're an elephant and they make it easy to do
4) I would not have to worry about my weight because looking like the side of a house is acceptable when you're an elephant, after all who ever saw a skinny elephant.

Okay, all I really need is a thicker skin like an elephant because I take things way too personally. Fridays are my biggest work days because all of our weekly communication and project schedules go out just before lunch time. We also have our weekly team meetings first thing on a Friday morning from which I compile our weekly blog page.

I felt a little bit battered and bruised following this mornings' meeting as a result of discussions and questions over information that has been sent out. Deep down I know their complaints aren't really my fault or concern, I don't create the project plans nor do I govern the distribution list but I'm still the one who compiles all of the communication and sends it all out, so I'm a little sensitive about the way it's being received. Oh, okay I'm a lot sensitive.

Communications is a tough gig - you either give people too much information or not enough, the fact is you can't please all of the people, all of the time. I need to learn to stop trying. As long as I please most of the people, most of the time - I'm going to be happy with that. I need to stop trying to keep everyone happy, because damn it's exhausting work.

What's that saying 'Take a teaspoon of concrete and harden the $@#& up' - yeah that's what I need to do.

In other news, my new bedroom suite is being delivered tomorrow - finally, well most of it anyway. The company probably isn't going to be getting my recommendation for superior customer service, delivery is three weeks overdue and the bed frame still isn't being delivered until November (they are supplying an ensemble in the interim) Ahhhh.... but what can you do?
 
Well tomorrow night I relish the thought of sleeping on my brand new mattress under all of my brand new bedding. Eighteen years of sleeping on a waterbed and now into a normal bed - it's going to be a bit of a shock to the ol' body I think.
 
Hope you all have a great weekend
 
Cheers, Fi

My rose coloured glasses slipped

Today was one of those days when my rose coloured glasses slipped sideways and gave me a reality check, in other words it was both a frustrating and illuminating day.

Realising that someone who you have backed and supported and defended for so many years, is maybe not as blameless as what you may have originally believed, is not the best feeling to experience.

It shakes you up and makes you question whether you really knew that person at all or if you were just plain dumb for not seeing the real truth. I'll be honest this has quite rocked my socks and I'm both frustrated and annoyed.

I always pride myself on being a fairly good judge of character and that's the thing, I don't think I've been wrong about the character of this person - in fact I'm pretty confident in my original assessment, but what I did do wrong was place this person on a pedestal and I didn't really question some of the things that I should have.

Those amazing rose coloured glasses which give everything a rosy glow, as the dictionary puts it- 'An optimistic perception of something; a positive opinion; seeing something in a positive way, often thinking of it as better than it actually is'. It could also have been a little bit of burying my head in the sand and refusing to see what might have been there all along.

My realisation leaves me with a bit of a dilemma because the situation is what it is and I can't change it for now. As annoying as the situation is, I'm forced to bite my tongue for now and not say anything. Anyone who knows me would know that's not an easy task for me, because believe me when I say that I have a lot of words I want to share.

Despite the fact that I've not mentioned any names or situations (don't ya hate that?) I feel so much better now that I have it off my chest. All part of biting my tongue and keeping quiet - the blogosphere is both a vast place and a very small place after all.

Have you had your rose coloured glasses knocked sideways lately, or is your vision clear and unshaded?

Cheers, Fi

Rose-colored glasses are never made in bifocals. Nobody wants to read the small print in dreams ~ Ann Landers

Angel on my shoulder

I have two angels who sit on my shoulders - one is the angel of optimism and the other is the angel of pessimism. The optimistic angel is bigger and louder and definitely much more enjoyable to listen to.

The pessimistic angel while smaller and not as loud can sometimes be downright rude and loud and often drowns out the voice of optimism.

That pessimistic cherub has been having a little bit of a rant lately, so I either need to buy a stronger gag or perhaps ear plugs. Work has settled down in terms of the first month of craziness. I'm doing much more of the communications role and I'm expecting someone to pinch me and I'll wake up. That little pessimistic voice keeps piping up and asking how on earth I'm getting paid to do what I'm doing.

I'm doing all of the things that I love, I'm learning so much and the more I create, the more creative I feel. I loved my previous human resources role, the project administration role was okay as well. But the communications role - love it, love it, love it. It's only taken me almost 40 years to discover that communications and change management is exactly where I want to be.

I guess what's feeding the pessimistic angel is the 'old school' view from senior managers within our company which surrounds the idea of change management. It's not taken as seriously as say finance is. Figures and accounting is quantifiable, people and emotions are not.

At the moment I keep taking a swipe at the pessimistic cherub and telling it to be quiet. I'm like a sponge, soaking up every scrap of information from my new boss that I can. I'm aware that as an external consultant he's only destined to be there for 12-18 months. I must learn as much as humanly possible because the reality is that once the project finishes in 3.3 years then I will be without a job. At least I now know which direction I will move in.

Now before I run away tonight, I have a link to share that you absolutely must go and check out. I'm amazed by the simplicity of this idea and will definitely be contributing my share.
I'm not sure of the logistics of participating for my overseas friends - but hey Adelaide gets interstate and international post and it's open until Christmas. My Adelaide pals, it's easy and it's for a worthwhile cause.

Are you intrigued now - well go and check it out here.

That's all for now - Cheers, Fi

Where ever the ride may take me

If we listen and simply trust in what our instincts are telling us, then very rarely will we be wrong. The truth is we all have so much potential if we just listened, believed and trusted in what our bodies tell us.

The problem is we second guess, we question, we doubt, we don't trust in our feelings. All of us have experienced that feeling when we just know something is going to happen, when our instincts have been spot on and even more when we've actually listened to those feelings. Even then, we put it down to coincedence when we have a close call, or a lucky save.

My instincts about people are often very strong, yet at the same time they can still be clouded by emotions. I've always told my kids that if they get a funny feeling in their stomach about someone, then they need to listen to that instinct. It's probably a very simplistic way of describing it, and maybe it's a bit airy fairy, but it's something which is easily understood by a child.

As adults we learn to tamper down that inner sense because we second guess and we question what we're feeling. It's not only people, the same thing happens with situations, deep down many of us know the truth behind a situation - our gut tells us the truth but for whatever reason we ignore those instincts or we talk ourselves out of our uncomfortable feelings.

Sometimes we can't accept the reality of what our instincts are telling us and it's easier to bury our heads in the sand and pretend that something really isn't happening. I listen, I feel, I trust my gut and sometimes I still ignore it. I know that occasionally I just have to go along for the ride and see where it takes me and that it's not always a bad thing.

Every experience is a learning one and when I listen to my gut at least my eyes are wide open and I'm ready for whatever comes my way. I'm simply along for the ride with no illusions about where that ride may take me.

Riding the rollercoaster of life - sometimes we all need to just get in, sit down and shut up......

Cheers, Fi

"Life can be like a roller coaster... And just when you think you've had enough, and your ready to get off the ride and take the calm, easy merry-go round... You change your mind, throw you hands in the air and ride the roller coaster all over again.

That's exhilaration...that's living a bit on the edge...that's being ALIVE." ~ Stacey Charter

Wannabe Challenge Queen

So I finally found some time to finish my list of 101 challenges to complete in 1001 days and I've updated what I've completed so far on the 101 in 1001 tab on my blog.

I added some more challenges that I'm really looking forward to doing and while I'm probably not overly rapt with my progress so far in completing some of them, I'll get there eventually.

There's one completed challenge on the list that was completed before my 101 list began but because it's from my original bucket list of '40 challenges before I'm 40 years old' and because it's a monumental challenge to accomplish, well it's staying.

After all, giving up smoking is my ultimate accomplishment for 2011. I have now been a non-smoker for 62 days - woohoo!!

So since my challenge list began on the 24th September, what have I done other than finish writing my list of 101 challenges? In the last three weeks I've -

• actively been more social and spoken to new people (my new job requires it)
• driven to Renmark to visit family members
• ridden the train to work
• had my grandson for overnight visits
• done something spontaneous (driving to Renmark without lots of forward planning is spontaneous for me - I surprised all of my family members which was an added bonus)

So as you can see it's been a little bit of a slow start, but finding 101 challenges isn't as easy as it sounds either. Now that we're through the first month with the project team, work has settled done somewhat. Plenty of work still to do but not the crazy busy, insane pace of that first month.

One of my greatest wishes which appears on my challenge list is to take my boys overseas (before they're too old and think holidaying with mum and dad is a drag) Okay so they're probably at that stage already but an overseas trip will still possibly sway them.

Last year hubby and I went to Bali and we discussed going back there this November and taking the boys. Well that was before hubby built a new man-cave (shed) and squandered all of our money and before I swapped jobs and got swamped with work.

Anyway, November has sort of became a 'not going to happen' pipe dream, which is a little sad because it was going to be my 40th birthday celebration. I'm now on a mission to try and convince hubby that taking the boys to Thailand in January is a better option. Yeah, I'm also a little wary of taking my teenagers to Bali given the recent events over there, but visiting Thailand has always been a goal as well.

No, we haven't suddenly discovered a pot of gold in the back yard but sometimes you have to do the things that really mean something to you. Middle MM turns 17 in January, there isn't a lot of time left to be able to take my boys overseas as a family unit. I'm sad enough that eldest MM wouldn't be a part of it, but he now has his own family.

Besides, as I reminded hubby (subtly of course) by giving up smoking it means that between now and Christmas we will have saved more than $2000. Such a horrendous waste of money smoking is. I miss it, but I also know that this time I won't go back.

So, because I'm a huge believer in the power of positive thought and because it means I could also wipe a whole lot of challenges from my 101 challenges list in one big swoop, I'm boldly repeating the mantra 'Everything I seek is seeking me now…' and visualising these pictures.

Now come on, surely you can visualise me riding an elephant and sitting on a beach like this? Only time will tell and you my lovely readers will be the first to know, after hubby and the MM's of course.

Now what is it that you're dreaming of, or visualising ...and if you're not - then why not? Hope you've all had a great weekend and are busy dreaming and visualising.

Cheers, Fi

Positive thinking is expecting, talking and visualising with certainty what you want to achieve, as an accomplished fact.

6WS - The justice system blows my mind

Facebook, the papers and the news are this weekend full of stories about the Australian teenager arrested in Bali this week for drug possession. 

My 'mothers' heart has gone into shock and I wonder how as a parent, you wouldn't go insane when your 14 year old son has been locked up, in a foreign country notorious for it's harsh sentences?

Those poor, poor parents. Their son, fourteen years old and arrested for possession of 6.9 grams of marijuana - that's apparently about $28 worth. That's grams people, I can't even think of something which is small enough to be comparable in size. In Bali you get less jail time for bombing a nightclub and killing hundreds of people than you do for being in possession of drugs.

There are many stories being circulated and one of them is that he bought it from someone on the street who said he hadn't eaten for a length of time and needed money and that the kid was set up. Who knows whether this is true or what the real story is.

I understand the country has drug laws and we all know through the news and the drama surrounding Sharpelle Corby that drugs are a no-no in Bali. But we don't know the full truth around the circumstances and shit after all, this poor kid is only 14 years old.

My youngest child is 14 years old. I get worried about him catching the bus with his mates, riding his bike around the streets or going to the shopping mall with friends. I couldn't even begin to imagine how I would cope with him being locked in a prison cell with hard core and dangerous criminals in one of the filthiest, most disgusting jails in the world.

If all of us got locked up for making an error in judgement as teenagers, then most of us would surely have criminal records. Don't get me wrong, because I by no means condone drug taking and I don't take them myself. Reality is - we all experiment with things as teenagers, we all mess up in one way or another. The fact is we're all kids at one time and we're all still learning.

He's 14 years, he's not trafficking drugs, how can talk of 6 years or even 14 years in jail be even considered with any seriousness. The news stations are reporting that the Australian Government is doing everything in it's power to correct this situation and I hope for once they actually get something right and get this kid home to Australia.

I would bet my life savings that in the future, this kid never so much as breathes the wrong way and will surely become a model citizen because I'm betting he's had every ounce of bravado and experimentation scared out of him.

Would love to hear your views on this subject, because I'm absolutely blown away by this one.

Cheers, Fi

Want to play along with Six Word Saturday, it's easy? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking on the button. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing.

The time is now

Believe it or not I've had to escape into my house to write this post. At this moment I have a backyard full of some thirty to forty guys (hubby's workmates) who are here for dinner because it's hubby's turn to host the monthly barbecue.

I'm sure that there's a lot more here than hubby's immediate work group though, meals at our place tend to get a bit like that and we end up with hordes of visitors.

My concern for any Adelaide based people, I hope your cars don't break down tonight because every mobile road service person is in my backyard at the moment, or it seems that way.

Now to what I wanted to share. Usually at night when I'm writing, I have the television on as background noise and I watch bits and pieces of different shows. This week I was watching Criminal Minds and the killers signature statement was 'The time is now'.

What a great saying, not in terms of killing or threatening someone, but as a motivating statement. Not tomorrow, not next week - but the time is now. Time to start something new, complete a challenge, find a new job, organise your life, start an exercise plan.

It was while watching this show that I decided I needed to do some sorting and that I needed to get a little organised. Okay contain your laughter at the thought of me needing to get more organised.

What I 've done is decide long and hard which blogs I will continue to read and visit on a regular basis and which ones I will move to my favourites tab for an occasional read. I was trying valiantly to read way too many and not doing any of them justice with commenting or valuing what had been written.

Is it a question of prioritising, I'm not sure what you call it. I read so many fantastic blogs but some nights I find that I'm rushing from one to the next and not enjoying them like I used to because there's simply not enough hours to do it all.

I was also adamant that I had to write every day, but I find some days that's not even possible to fit in. So I 've given up beating myself up about not commenting on blogs every day - believe that I read and enjoy what I read even if I don't always comment. I also don't have palpitations when I don't find time to write a post every day (well not much anyway)

I would much rather write quality and miss a day every now and again then churn out rubbish because I'm rushing to get words on paper. I'm lucky enough that I now spend all day, every day, writing and creating (and getting paid to do it - who would have ever thought????) so I don't quite suffer the withdrawal that I used to.

Now that I've satisfied my writing addiction for the day, I'd best be showing my face outside again and not being totally unsociable, although the urge to curl up on the lounge in front of the television is immense. Ahhh the things we do.

Once they've had a few more drinks and the crowd thins a bit then hopefully I can vanish back inside and catch up on my reading for the week. Have a great weekend all,

Cheers, Fi

Love your job - or change it...

Do you wake up in the morning and look forward to going to work, or do you drag yourself out of bed and seriously consider the thought of crawling back into your cosy cocoon and not going to work at all.

I've done the drag myself out of bed option previously and I hated it. There's nothing good about going to work and not wanting to be there.


You don't do your best work, regardless of what you may think and you're not being fair to those who really do want to be there.

I'm lucky enough that I now have a job that I absolutely adore and I look forward to going to. I'm doing all the things that I enjoy (who thought I'd ever get paid to do the things I love) and I'm learning heaps. I still have people and situations at work that make me want to scream some days - but no matter where you go you're going to experience that.

The thing is you've got to love what you do. So be honest, do you feel exhilarated and energised by your job, or do you want to scream with frustration and thump something, or someone?

Consider this, if the average person works a 38 hour week (full time hours in Australia) and works 48 weeks of the year. Then between the ages of 21 and retirement age of 65, they will have spent some 240,000 hours of their life working. I'm not an accountant so don't hold me to those figures, but suffice to say we work a large proportion of our lives.

Why would you want to spend that many hours of your life doing something that doesn't make you happy? A friend posted this on her Facebook page today and it pretty well sums up my thoughts.

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets

So love the people who treat you right, and forget about the ones who don't.

Believe that everything happens for a reason.

If you get a chance, take it; if it changes your life, then let it.

Nobody said that it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

So if you do nothing else this week, at least consider what does make you happy and what you could change in your life to make it possible. If you love what you're doing - then hold onto it with both hands and love your life.

Cheers, Fi

Without work, all life goes rotten. But when work is soul less, life stifles and dies ~ Albert Camus

Back to reality

Why is it such a shock when you first hit the outskirts of the city after a trip away? The amount of traffic seems to be immense and bothersome after the wide open roads and days of looking at nothing but mother nature in all her beauty.

The wildflowers are everywhere and because we've had a very wet winter, everything is green and lush looking. The urge for me to pack up and move to the country is always great after I've been away. I'm an outdoors and wide open spaces kinda girl.

Gazanias - they grow wild along the roadside



The trees take on their own personalities



How can you not love the beauty of the creeks?

I did a lot of soul searching and just listening to my heart this weekend - it's amazing how country living and fresh air can do that to a person. I think there's lots of things that need to change in my life and more balance is definitely needed.

It may mean that I'm not here every day on my blog and that I direct some of my energy to other things that I want to achieve in my life. We'll see how that one pans out though.

Sometimes we need time away from everyday living to understand how big the rut is that we've carved out for ourselves. I don't think it makes the rut any less but it does provide some perspective. So here's to finding greater perspective and the answers to some of life's greater mysteries.

Have a great week all. Cheers, Fi.

I have a very firm grasp on reality! I can reach out and strangle it any time! ~Author Unknown

Just what was needed

Mrs 'I need to organise' took a holiday this weekend and in her place was Mrs 'Relaxed and not a care in the world'.

I 've just spent two thoroughly chilled out and relaxed days and feel all the better for it. Gone was the need to organise, arrange and manage everything and everyone. I just mosied along with what everyone else was doing and feel 100% better for it.

Yesterday afternoon was the footy grand final, and then last night a barbecue and an evening spent sitting around the firebucket and relaxing. I'm not a big alcohol drinker but I discovered a delightful treat in the form of jelly shots, which is a vodka and jelly creation.

Big night, a houseful of people who stayed the night at my brother and sister-in-law's place last night. My brother cooked bacon and eggs for the hordes that stayed over and we all spent most of the morning lolling around in the sunshine on the back deck.

Then several hours of peaceful cruising on the river which was a delightful way to spend the afternoon. Dinner at my sister-in-laws parents place tonight and then home because we were all so exhausted. I'm now snuggled up under a quilt, in bed and cruising the blogosphere. What a delightful end to a superb day.

I'm not at all keen on returning to the fast pace of city life tomorrow (or the 3 and a half hour drive home for that matter) I'm quite certain that I could spend another week up here of doing nothing. Below are some pics of my day.

 The boys in the boat - my brother, my youngest and my nephew.

 We found time to call in and visit one of my girlfriends and her husband who moved from Adelaide to Renmark at the beginning of the year. This is the view from her back verandah. Yes it must be difficult having to sit and look at a view like this all day.

 My 3 year old nephew - it's tiring work being a kid - he bombed out for an hour and a half sleep in the boat. Half his luck, I could quite happily have curled up next to him for a nap as well.

 This is where we spent several hours exploring this afternoon, in the creeks that run off the main river. Nothing to look at but wildlife and water and trees and nature. Only the sounds of nature and the gentle putt.. putt.. of the boat as we cruised along.

It's a hard life but someone had to do it.

Cheers, Fi

Family, Fun, Frivolity, Food and Football

Those 6 words sum up my Saturday pretty well. I'm in the Riverland (a three and a half hour drive from home) staying with my brother and sister-in-law for the Australian Labour Day long weekend. Youngest son and I made the drive up yesterday afternoon and surprised them and my parents with our visit.

We left hubby and middle son home to engage in some father / son bonding - otherwise known as arguing and disagreeing or 'I know more than you and don't argue with me'. It's definitely a male thing and they get on so much better when mum is not around to have to referree. Youngest and I were happy to escape to the country.

Today is the grand final for Australian Rules Football, so of course there's no better excuse for a huge amount of food and frivolity than a footy match on the big screen watched with friends and family. Neither of the two teams slugging it out for the premiership title are on my list of favourites, but I can drink a few alcohol beverages, eat copious amounts of food and scream and yell with the best of them if the occasion warrants it.

I'm sitting on my 'borrowed' bed at my brothers house writing this post and it's before 8am, how tragic - I'm on little getaway holiday and I was awake this morning at 6.30. You know how it is when you stay away from home and your body is still 'on a get up early for work' timeclock. The sun is shining through the back window and it looks set to be a superb spring day. Not bad after days and days of rain.

I'm hesitant to venture into the house just yet and wake up all of the 'normal' people. If I do then the dogs bark because I'm a stranger in the house, which will then wake my nephew up, so I force myself to sit on my bed and catch up on my reading in the blogosphere and leaving a few comments. I'm sure you know how hard that is to just rest, relax and indulge in guilty pleasures?

I hear the sounds of stirring in the house, so I may venture forth. I won't post this till later today (when it actually is Saturday in the US and Cate has posted the link up page) so I may come back with some pictorial beauty of my day, or I may not. Hope you all have a super day filled with the five F's, well at least four of them because it's probably not football season where you are unless you're one of my Aussie readers.

Cheers, Fi

Want to play along with Six Word Saturday, it's easy? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing.